Tag Archives: rape

What Is America’s Most Pressing Abandonment Issue as a Nation?

What is abandonment? Abandonment (Rice, 2008) is emotions, feelings, and acts that leave us with feelings or experience of: a) alienation, b) abuse, c) loss, d) betrayal, e) desertion, f) separation, g) segregation, h) incarceration, i) rejection, or j) the fear of our security. This author views abandonment and the issues, feeling, and the experiences they invoke, voluntarily or involuntarily, to be natural and unnatural events within the human experience. All forms of social policies, laws, communication and interactions, verbal or non-verbal, written or oral, and emotional or physical can cause people to feel or experience abandonment.

Events like wars, conflicts, murder-suicides, murder, suicide, death, rape, sexual or physical abuse, cheating, withdrawn of sex or emotions, change in power, loss of power, and social or economic policies produce abandonment feeling within people, groups, and nations. These experiences or issues left unresolved affect our ability to reason, bond, trust, love, communicate, problem-solve, rear our children, respect the rights of all and live with our neighbors in peace.

Now, I would like you to read the abandonment events in this survey and chose the one that you feel is most pressing for America. I also welcome learning what the abandonment issues are in other nations. Each nation and cultural has it own. All comments are welcome!

Rice, J. (2008). Thank you for loving me! The psychology of abandonment, healing, and loving. CA: CreateSpace

 

What Is Your “Core Abandonment Issue?”

A “core abandonment issue” is the earliest abandonment event that you can remember as a young child. This event caused you to have feelings of abandonment that have affected your self-esteem, ability to bond, trust, and love yourself and/or others. This event can be resolved presently or it can still be unresolved. Please read this short article first and then vote!

 

My Most Recent Abandonment Experience Is?

What is your most recent abandonment issue or experience? As stated in other articles on this blog abandonment experiences are normal outcomes of our day-to-day interactions, communications, behaviors, and reactions. This survey is seeking to identify your most recently abandonment experience.

Please read the choices and select the best answer for yourself. No information is saved about your IP address, nor are any cookies added to your computer. Only your answer and the time is reported for any of our surveys.

Thank you for your participation and vote often! Please return to review the results and read the upcoming articles!

If you haven’t taken the survey…What Is Your Core Abandonment Issues, please do so now!

 

Does Wording Cause Us to Abandon Ideas or Concepts?

Please answer yes or no to this question without thinking about it!

 

Please answer the other quick polls on this blog! Thank you!

Abandon Your Prejudices and Support Human Rights!

Everyone needs to be concerned about the social well-being of all. Support Human Right Day 24/7/365!

Turn-up the volume and listen the first time. The second time close your eyes, open your heart, and visualize respect and freedom for all.

Now read these words aloud!

We must begin to look at everyday events, behaviors, issues, and reactions as expressions of how well we are caring for people. You must understand that our thoughts and actions are causing the destruction of people and societies.

Look at how physical and emotional abuse damage people and cause them to act-out at loved ones and society. We must continue to facilitate corrective learning experiences in individuals and in society. We must stop destroying people, because they will just destroy us in return!

We must accept the differences in each other and build upon our strengths and common needs! You have the same rights as everyone else! If your rights are denied, my rights are not secured!

This is why we must resolve abandonment issues by providing corrective learning experiences that teach people how to love and accept themselves and others.

People! Let the people live and let the conflicts die! (Rice, pp. 236-237, 2008)

 

Let’s have a discussion about this topic. What prejudice(s) are you willing to overcome to secure the rights of others? This is the question Lt. Daniel Choi a West Point Alumni is asking President Obama and all Americans!
Rice, J.R. (2008). Thank you for loving me! The psychology of abandonment, healing, and love. CA: CreateSpace

Why We Abandoned…’Do Not Tell’…in the Military!

We finally understand and accept that if your rights are denied…mine are not protected!

As a black man who grew-up during the civil rights movement in  America, I am keenly aware of the excuses given for not granting rights.

  • The bible says…
  • You are not white…
  • You are not equal..
  • You are 3/5 of a man….
  • You are not good enough…
  • It has always been that way…
  • You are not smart enough…
  • You are not responsible enough…
  • We do not want you marrying our daughters…
  • You came from an ape…
  • You are black…
  • You are needed to clean my house, raise my children, shine my shoes, and pick my crops…
  • You will drink or eat at the same sources…
  • You will want to vote and have blacks representing you in congress …
  • You are a boy…
  • I don’t want to have to respect you as another human being…
  • You have not earned it…
  • I don’t want you to have any rights, because it take away from mine…
  • Not now…wait!

Soldiers in any branch of service to their country have enough to worry about!

  • Being killed…
  • Being wounded…
  • Being capture…
  • Losing their ability to walk, speak, see, write, think, sleep, hold, eat, drink, hear, control their bodily functions, or have sex…
  • Providing for their family…
  • Loss of job and income…
  • Loss of their place in society…
  • Developing PTSD…
  • Experiencing the loss of fellow soldiers…
  • Being abandoned by their nation…
  • Becoming a prison of war…
  • Not receiving the care their need when they return…
  • Missing milestones in their children development…
  • Growing apart from their spouse, children, and friends…
  • Experiencing a change in their personality or outlook of life…

The last thing they need “is being discharged while being gay!

You are who you are!

Telling someone to not be themselves is stupid and it shows a lack of respect for our fellow human being! The following nations allow gays to serve openly in their army forces:

  • Australia
  • Austria
  • Belgium
  • Britain
  • Canada
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Estonia
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Ireland
  • Israel
  • Italy
  • Lithuania
  • Luxembourg
  • Netherlands
  • Norway
  • Slovenia
  • South Africa
  • Spain
  • Sweden
  • Switzerland
  • Uruguay
  • And now…The United State of America!

 

When you respect life… you respect all-life!

Not just the ones you prefer!

 


Related articles:


Please take a one-question survey on this issues!


 

Adult Males Must Abandon Fathering Teenagers’ Babies

    “The problem with teens sex is not simply that teens are having sex.”
(U.S. News & World Report, Sins of the Father, 8/6/95)

In the U.S., would you be surprised to learn that teenage boys are not the fathers of the majority of babies born to teenage girls? According to an article written by Steinhauer, (NY Times, 1995), “federal and state surveys suggest that adult males are the fathers of some two-thirds of the babies born to teenage girls!”

Wisconsin provides a clear example. An Executive Summary if truth be told… prepared for the United Way of Milwaukee states, “71% of babies born to teen girls are fathered by adult males over 20-years old.” In addition, if that is not disturbing enough, they found that “42% of the girls younger than 15 reported that their first intercourse was nonconsensual.” In nonprofessional term, adult men raped them! In the NY Times article (1995) “in Chicago 61% of young mothers had been raped.” “In Seattle, another study reported that 68% had been raped.”

The American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law in 1997 conducted an exploratory research into “the responses of the courts and social service agencies to adult males having relationships with teenage girls.” You can read their findings in, Sexual Relationships between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls: Exploring the Legal and Social Responses. They also found, that adult men, not teenage boys, are often responsible for impregnating most young girls.” They identified the problem, but also discussed how the courts, social service agencies, the media, and the communities need to address this epidemic.

 

In Sins of the Fathers (Shapiro & Wright, 1995), they wrote in U.S. News & World Report, “In 1920, for example, 93% of babies born to teenagers were fathered by adults.” Today we should be appalled at the fact that we as a society are looking the other way at an epidemic that is causing far more physically, emotional, psychological, and financial hardship to our children, than the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in TX. How are we as parents of children, brothers and sister of girls and as a society not demanding a stop to our girls being raped and abused?

This ‘statutory rape‘ of our children is causing them and their children to have unresolved abandoned issues. Just read the comments at the end of the ABA reports, here is one:

The reason my mother doesn’t like me to date older men is because my dad was 20 years older than her. And he already had three kids, my third older brothers. She says an older man wants you to cook for them, clean, do a lot of things, but they don’t treat you right sometimes. And she’s afraid that might happen to me. And it did happen…

                                                                         (Elstein & Noy, 1997, p. 30)  

‘Statutory rape’ is causing society unresolved abandonment issues by the adult males who are abandoning their children and the responsible of supporting them, rearing them, and loving them. They deserve the same love, caring, and support all of us do!

Milwaukee is following the recommendations in the ABA report. I ask that the U.S. Surgeon General declare as an epidemic ‘adult males who are committing “statutory rape” or fathering the babies born to teenage girls as a public health crisis. I ask that they work to implement all of the recommendations in the ABA’s report in all 50 states to stop the rape and abuse of our children and their children!

What do you think? Is this a worldwide epidemic? Would you like for the courts and social agencies to do if your child was a victim of ‘statutory rape?’

References

Elstein, Sharon G., & Davis, Noy. (1997). Sexual relationships between adult males and young teen girls: Exploring the legal and social responses. American Bar  Association Center on Children and the Law. Retrieved from www.abanet.org/child/statutory-rape.pdf

Shapiro, Joseph P., & Wright, Andrea R. (1995). Sins of the fathers. U.S. News & World  Report. Retrieved from www.usnews.com/usnews/culture/articles/950814    /archive_032639.htm

Steinhauer, Jennifer. (1995). Study cites adult males for most teen-age births. The New York Times. Retrieved from www.nytimes.com/1995/08/02/us/study-cites-adult-males-for-most-teen-age-births.html?pagewanted=print

United Way of Milwaukee. (2006). If truth be told. United Way of Milwaukee, WI. Retrieved from http://www.unitedwaymilwaukee.org/PDFs/uwgm_TPRexecsumm.pdf

 

 

Abandon the Practice of Sexual Abuse and Rape

Wednesday, May 20, 2009A national committee in Ireland released a report revealing six-decades of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse on children in the care of the church and state.

I have being writing about how all communications, actions, and reactions can cause people or societies to experience feelings and acts of abandonment. This story is about how the laws, policies, institutions, behaviors, and the actions of the very people entrusted with the care of innocent children have caused a nation to be abandoned.

Sad, I must point-out how the people of Ireland are left with unresolved abandonment issues because of the rules the Catholic Church had the state agree too in order to ensure their cooperation in the investigation. This nation is left with unresolved abandonment issues because the people responsible for these crimes cannot be charged!

Please view this report from CNN and give your comments after viewing the videos and reading about this story. The report can be read or download from The Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse.

I will write next about how the practice of sexual abuse and rape in America is causing its victims to experience abandonment from one generation to the next. I do not know of any nation that is without this shame!

 

Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison will be the topic on “It’s A New Day” WJZD 94.5 FM


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
John Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.
jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

J. Ray Rice will discuss his article “Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison” on “IT’S A NEW DAY” with Radio Host RIP DANIELS, on WJZD 94.5 FM in Gulfport, MS – Tuesday, April 28, 2009 – 9AM to 11AM C.S.T.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL – April 25, 2009 – J. Ray Rice, is a speaker, trainer, and author of 2 books selling on Amazon.com Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving and its’ personal growth journal, What I Must Give Myself…First! Rice will be the guest on “It’s A New Day” with host Rip Daniels on WJZD 94.5 FM out of Gulfport, MS, April 28, 2009 9AM to 11AM C.S.T. The show will be broadcast in Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, and over the Internet at http://www.itisanewday.com. Listeners in the U.S., can join the conversation by calling toll free 1-866-945-9455. Rice chose to write this topic because 1 out of 9 black males between the ages of 20 – 34 is in prison. Rice will discuss how culture, behavior, social policies, and drugs laws have all contributed to black males abandoning themselves and society. This topics is one of over 40 articles and surveys on this blog with readers from 140 different nations.

Rice wants you to understand the next time you see or hear of destructive behaviors or actions, be they, physical, emotional, social, or philosophical that “it is all about abandonment.” Often after school shootings, mass murders, murder-suicide, and wars we are left questing what would cause someone to commit these actions or place himself or herself in jeopardy of going to prison. Rice’s theory is that they all share a common denominator…unresolved abandonment issues! For him, all forms of communications and interactions produce abandonment feelings and events. For some their earlier abandonment issues have severely damaged their self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and reasoning abilities. Over a person’s lifetime, left unresolved, these experiences could result in the kind of behaviors and actions we see in the news. Rice writes, “history is repeating itself because we are not learning and resolving the issues that created the problem in the first place.” When a society abandons its citizens, their citizens abandons society. Neither is safe.

Rice, a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers of the National Association of Social Workers since 1979, has been studying the effects of unresolved abandonment issues for over 30 years and has traveled in 19-countries studying their culture and delivery of social services. His books are written to teach us how to heal abandonment issues, and his blog shows us how abandonment experiences and actions (real or perceived) can produce unresolved abandonment issues within any individual or society, impairing their function and justifying in some, the killing of strangers and love-ones alike.

J. Ray Rice is a unique trainer and speaker, nationally and internationally.

For more information contact: J. Ray Rice

Read parts 1 and 2 of “Why Some Black Men Are Abandoning Society for Prison.

Should We Talk with Our Enemies?

Should we be talking with our enemies? Do we need to abandon the mindset of not talking with our enemies so we can resolve conflicts and behaviors that are resulting in us killing each other? J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

Vote on this question and others. Please add your comments as well.