Tag Archives: killings

Hello World!

Welcome to my improved blog on “Understanding Abandonment Issues and The Psychology of Human Behaviors.” I became professional aware of  unresolved abandonment issues at the age of 18, directly out of high school. I was chosen to be part of a team of 13 Americans who joined 13 Columbians to set-up and run the first YMCA Camp in of Bogota, Columbia in 1967. In our last camp session, that summer, all of the youths were from an orphanage. I exchanged one of the mine youth with another one from another American Counselor because he was so needing. The youth, who looked like he was 11 was actually 15 years old. He looked at me and said, “you are going to hurt me!” I ensured him that I wasn’t going to hurt him. For the next week I gave him all of my love and attention. It wasn’t until the last day of the camp session that I heard what he had told me.

He was getting ready to get on his bus back to the orphanage. I was getting ready to board my bus to the airport to visit two more countries in South America  before flying back to American to start college that fall.  It was not until the youth walked up to me with tears in his eyes and said to me again, “I told you that you were going to hurt me,” that I heard him. All I could do was to hug him and tell him that I was sorry and cry!

I didn’t know the impact of my actions, as good as they were! I didn’t understand how to show him the good that had come out of this experience. I didn’t know how to terminate a relationship so the person didn’t feel worse off for meeting me. For all of these reasons I changed my major at George Williams College (Founder of the YMCA) from becoming a YMCA Administrator to studying Group Work and become a Clinical Social Worker and College Instructor.

I began writing on the subject in graduate school and in 1977published my first book on the subject, Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Loving and Healing  in 1984.  In 2008 the Revised publication of Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Loving and Healing was released, alone with a Personal Growth Journal titled, What I Must Give Myself…First! Someone Else Cannot Give Me What I Am Not Able or Willing to Give Myself.

These two books are Self-Help books that can enhance one’s treatment in therapy. They don’t read like a normal book, but assist in facilitating a “corrective learning experience!”  I spent 20 years writing and rewriting Thank You for Loving Me! It started out as my diary doing my years in therapy and then I developed it for the use in the treatment of adolescents and adults in individual and group therapy.

I am proud that 2014 marks the seventh year that my blog has been up and running! I have had readers from at least 189 different countries and I thank each of you. I thank you for reading  my articles and adding your comments to my posts. If you have not already voted in all of the surveys, please click on “Surveys” on the sidebar, and participate in each of them. Your participation and feedback is appreciated!

Also, please continue to purchase and read my two books on Amazons and don’t forget to submit your reviews.

As an Author, Speaker, and Consultant, I am available to lecture at your school or college; or keynote a speaking event; or facilitate  workshops for your institution, organization, or business. Speaking/Training fees will be reduced if an order of books are included in the event.

Please email me at jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

My Passport is current and my bags can be packed for international or national engagements!

 

Should Americans Abandon Their Rights to Bear Arms?

Since March 10, 2009 44 have been killed in the United States in mass murders. A total of 200 have been killed in American in 50 mass murders since Virginia Tech in April 16, 2007. (ABCNews, April 4, 2009)

Please vote on the question below. Your comments are welcome!

 

 



The Common Denominators of Unresolved Abandonment Issues and Guns in Mass Murders

I have been writing and giving examples of how communications and interactions between individuals, groups, and societies can cause abandonment issues. Left unresolved these issues can damage our self-esteem, impart our problem-solving abilities, and contribute to some too act violent toward others and themselves. Sometimes, these events affect us so severely and often that they can be the driving force behind some of the most serve acts of violence and taking of innocent lives.

The following are some of the high profile murders that have been in the news from April 5, 2007 and dating back to Christmas of 2008. I believe that all of these individuals has unresolved abandonment issues that are at the root of their actions, along with the asset to guns!

I would like for you to read and listen to the information provided in the following links that reveal their unresolved abandonment issues. Afterward please give your comments and understanding about these issues and actions.

April 5, 2009
“Police: Dad Killed Kids Because Wife Was Leaving” (Phuonge Le, AP, ABCNews)

James Harrison’s unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his wife betrayed him in an affair, and b) she was going to leave him for another man.

April 4, 2009
“Gunman ‘Lying in Wait’ Kills 3 Pittsburgh Officers” (Plushnick-Masti and Dan Nephin, AP, ABCNews)

Richard Poplawski’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) loss of job, b) fear of loss of his right to bear-arms, and c) possible eviction by his mother for his dog urinating in her home.

April 3, 2009
“As NY Gunman’s Life Unraveled, He Took Others’ (Rubinkam, AP, ABCNews)

Jiverly Wong’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) loss of job, b) his failure to speak English well, c) his lack of acceptance, and d) in his eyes the Center’s failure to teach him English and provide the America Dream.

March 13, 2009
“Doubts Arise Over Threat by German Teenage Gunman” (Leske, ABCNews)

Tim Kretschmer’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) feelings of abandonment/rejection by classmates and school, and b) feelings of depression due to him lacking to successfully bond with family and friends.

March 16, 2009
“Slain Ala. Mother Mourned as Unique, Independent” (Hunter, AP, ABCNews)

Michael McLendon’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his failure to become a law-enforcement officer, and b) his family failure to contribute to his success in his eyes.

March 22, 2009
“Oakland Seeking Answers in Police Killings” (Jesse McKinley, NYTimes)

Lovelle Mixon’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his fear of returning to prison on a warrant, and b) despondent over not being able to find employment.


February 24, 2009
“Boy Shoots Father’s Pregnant Girlfriend” (ABCNews)

Jordan Brown’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his fear of the loss of love from his father, b) failure to be prepared for a blended-family, c) failure to bond with father’s girlfriend, two daughter, and new baby, and d) giving him a gun when he does not have the maturity to resolve conflicts or talk about his feelings.

December 25, 2008
“Police: Burns from fire altered ‘killer Santa’ plan” (CNN)

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his divorced from his wife, b) his feelings of abandonment from his family and his wife’s family, and c) his mother siding with his wife during the divorce.

It’s All About Abandonment! Do not forgive to vote on the issue of guns!

Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving By: J. Ray Rice is Released on Amazon.com

The wait is over! Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving has been released for immediate sale on Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com!

Price has been discounted 20%!

Thank You for Loving Me!
John

Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving by: J. Ray Rice


 

Thank You for Loving Me! is dedicated:

“To those who love, and to those who want to be loved!”

James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief of The Midwest Book Review wrote:

“Thank You for Loving Me! is about the practical psychology in a poetic format of loving and healing based on John Rice’s self-help, self-improvement seminar. It is about the necessity of taking risk, pursuing dreams; the role of friendship and the nature of love in the human experience; the impediments we all heir to; the concepts, values, and standards we all held to (by ourselves as well as by others); and the critical role of gratitude in peace of mind and personal tranquility. The psychology is sound, the style simple, the message elegant, the book timely and timeless.”

    • Chapter 1 –  I Just Discovered How Much I Love You
      • What are you risking?
      • I just want to be loved!
      • It all starts with our parents.
      • Time goes on, Life moves forward.
      • Mom!
      • Wherever I am.
    • Chapter 2 –  The Almighty Image
      • I need God in my life!
      • Lord, I haven’t been hearing You!
      • Thank You for loving me, Lord!
      • Some people think?    

Chapter 3 –  In My Image

    • I had a dream!
    • The truth is…
    • And…
    • How easy it is to spend your life looking!
    • Being your friend first.
    • When I was younger…
    • Sex is an action…
    • And…
    • Friends are those who…
    • Love & friendship
    • Love, what is it?
    • There is no such thing…
    • You’re involved with another…
    • Love is!
    • It is extremely difficult…
    • I’m sorry!
    • It has been said…
    • There is something…
    • Love! For the longest time…
    • I shared with a friend…
    • Do I prefer casual sex?
    • It is one of the greatest ironies of love…
    • I have learned…
    • Emotions and feelings…
    • Can you understand?
    • If you haven’t experience!
    • And…
    • Where does love begin?
    • There are two stages…
  • Chapter 4 –  Do I Chase You Away?
    • What do you want?
    • Whenever I see someone…
    • I met someone!
    • If I were honest?
    • I wonder?
    • Would I chase you away?
    • What should I do?
    • Before we can talk!
    • You say you’ve said that…
    • And…
    • I finally fell…
    • I’m sorry!
    • I’m sorry that I…
    • There are times when…
    • When I am silent…
    • Wow!
    • You know!
    • At times I feel…
    • If we would only be…
    • I don’t want to…
  • Chapter 5 –  Can I Be Held?
    • It was a moment…
    • When I say no.
    • Have you noticed?
    • If we discover…
    • I’m loved by…
    • I’m sorry I’m not capable…
  • Chapter 6 –  Thank You For Loving Me!
    • Thank you for…
    • I love you!
    • Thank you!
    • The key to peace is…
    • Thank you..It hasn’t been easy!
    • Thank you…for teaching…
    • Thank you…Because.
    • Thank you…I have experienced.
    • Thank you…You know.
    • Thank you for loving…
  • Epilogue

Eric C. Hanson Treatment Issues

When a person murders another person, they are reacting to unresolved abandonment issues, from either that person or someone else in their life. This act of taking another person’s life produces unresolved abandonment issues for the people that loved and knew them. Their loves ones are left with a sense of profound loss from their sudden and needless separation from the person they love. Their love ones are left with questions like, why has this happened and how could anyone commit such a crime or action. They may ask why would God allow this to happen to their loved ones. Each of these questions produces feelings of abandonment.

Eric C. Hanson in DuPage County, Illinois has been convicted of beating to death his sister and brother-in-law in Aurora, IL, and then shooting to death his parents in Naperville, IL. This article is about the psychology and the development of the pathology to carryout these acts. We will examine his behaviors and actions from a different point of view, abandonment. The abandonment issues of Eric Hanson’s mental illness and actions will be examined in the hope that others will have a better understanding of his thought process and actions. This examination is not done to excuse his behaviors and actions or lessen the seriousness of his acts. This is written in the hope of providing a new awareness and understanding to how his mental illness and behaviors are…all about abandonment.

To read more click here…

Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving by: J. Ray Rice

The third edition of Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving has been released for purchase online at CreateSpace and Amazon.com. This is one of three books by J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W., that will be released in 2008.

Thank You for Loving Me! has been rewritten over 200 times since its first copyright in 1977. It started out as a personal growth journal the author kept during therapy. When he was a graduate student in training to become a therapist he realized that he could not take someone else to a point or level he had not reached himself. To achieve this end he began his personal growth journal that grew into a book that he has been written over 36 years.

Lessons in life have to be experienced and learned. You just cannot tell people what to do and how to do it. They have to learn! Thank You for Loving Me is a book that you will read and reread to understand the life lessons in it. The author took 36 years to write this book and friends that have read and reread the book before are still learning and seeing new lessons in the book.

The format of the book is written in proses. Prose is not poetry; prose is a matter-of-fact form of writing.

Remember the Chinese proverb, “Give a person a fish and feed them for the day, teach them how to fish and feed them for a lifetime.” Thank You for Loving Me teaches you how to love and heal so you can love and heal a lifetime!

 

Brief explanation of the book:

 

 

  • What is the manuscript about?
    • Thank You For Loving Me is about the human experience of loving and being loved. It assists the reader to understand how issues of abandonment have affected their self-esteem and the way they look at life events. It offers a tool on how to go about resolving ones’ hurts and losses.
  • Who should read it?
    • Anyone who loves and want to be love should read Thank You For Loving Me! It is written to adolescences and adults; male and female; straight and gay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • What will the reader learn from it?
    • How to learn to love and be loved by others and ourselves.
    • How to resolve our abandonment issues so we can feel completely safe and secure in who we are as individuals.
    • How and why we should respect all the people of the world.
  • Why it is important?
    • To increase our ability to love others and ourselves.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues increases our ability to resolve conflicts.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues enhances our ability to succeed in living within the global community.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues reduces wars and violence toward each other.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to live together as a family.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to commit and rear our children.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to bond and succeed in long-term relationships.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to be tolerant of people, cultures, and norms that are different from ours.

 

Anticipated market for the book

 

 

  • Who is the book marketed to and who should read this book?
    • Adolescences (13 years old and up) and all adults, male and female.
  • How big is the audience?
    • Worldwide
  • How many copies will be printed?
    • Print-on-demand allows any book order of one or more copies to be printed and shipped worldwide within a week of ordering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Will the book be illustrated?

 

 

  • Yes!
  • The book has 36 beautiful and feeling illustrations drawn by William (“Bill”) Sawicki (03/19/1945 – 02/18/2001).

 
Author’s qualifications

 

 

  • What makes this author qualified to write this book?
    • The author is a trained social worker that has been treating abandonment issues all of his life.
    • He has traveled to 19-countries and examined these issues in their societies.
  • What are his credentials?
    • The author has a Master of Social Work degree.
    • He has treated thousands of teens, adults, and their families
  • How has he developed his experience in writing about this subject?
    • He has designed and administrated treatment programs with a specialty in resolving abandonment issues.
    • He developed the books during his own treatment experiences and enhanced it over the years in the treatment of others.
    • He has used his book in therapy with adolescences and adult for 30 years.
    • He has lectured and trained national and internationally on abandonment issues and the effects of unresolved abandonment issues on individuals, groups and societies.

 

Format of the manuscript

 

 

  • Thank You For Loving Me is written in proses.

 

Can I order a copy of the second edition, published in 1997 without the illustrations?

 

 

  • Yes, drop us an email.

 

Can I give a review on the 1st and 2nd editions of… Thank You For Loving Me?

 

 

  •  Yes! Just click on Add Comment.   

 

 

To read more click here…