Tag Archives: family

Adult Males Must Abandon Fathering Teenagers’ Babies

    “The problem with teens sex is not simply that teens are having sex.”
(U.S. News & World Report, Sins of the Father, 8/6/95)

In the U.S., would you be surprised to learn that teenage boys are not the fathers of the majority of babies born to teenage girls? According to an article written by Steinhauer, (NY Times, 1995), “federal and state surveys suggest that adult males are the fathers of some two-thirds of the babies born to teenage girls!”

Wisconsin provides a clear example. An Executive Summary if truth be told… prepared for the United Way of Milwaukee states, “71% of babies born to teen girls are fathered by adult males over 20-years old.” In addition, if that is not disturbing enough, they found that “42% of the girls younger than 15 reported that their first intercourse was nonconsensual.” In nonprofessional term, adult men raped them! In the NY Times article (1995) “in Chicago 61% of young mothers had been raped.” “In Seattle, another study reported that 68% had been raped.”

The American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law in 1997 conducted an exploratory research into “the responses of the courts and social service agencies to adult males having relationships with teenage girls.” You can read their findings in, Sexual Relationships between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls: Exploring the Legal and Social Responses. They also found, that adult men, not teenage boys, are often responsible for impregnating most young girls.” They identified the problem, but also discussed how the courts, social service agencies, the media, and the communities need to address this epidemic.

 

In Sins of the Fathers (Shapiro & Wright, 1995), they wrote in U.S. News & World Report, “In 1920, for example, 93% of babies born to teenagers were fathered by adults.” Today we should be appalled at the fact that we as a society are looking the other way at an epidemic that is causing far more physically, emotional, psychological, and financial hardship to our children, than the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in TX. How are we as parents of children, brothers and sister of girls and as a society not demanding a stop to our girls being raped and abused?

This ‘statutory rape‘ of our children is causing them and their children to have unresolved abandoned issues. Just read the comments at the end of the ABA reports, here is one:

The reason my mother doesn’t like me to date older men is because my dad was 20 years older than her. And he already had three kids, my third older brothers. She says an older man wants you to cook for them, clean, do a lot of things, but they don’t treat you right sometimes. And she’s afraid that might happen to me. And it did happen…

                                                                         (Elstein & Noy, 1997, p. 30)  

‘Statutory rape’ is causing society unresolved abandonment issues by the adult males who are abandoning their children and the responsible of supporting them, rearing them, and loving them. They deserve the same love, caring, and support all of us do!

Milwaukee is following the recommendations in the ABA report. I ask that the U.S. Surgeon General declare as an epidemic ‘adult males who are committing “statutory rape” or fathering the babies born to teenage girls as a public health crisis. I ask that they work to implement all of the recommendations in the ABA’s report in all 50 states to stop the rape and abuse of our children and their children!

What do you think? Is this a worldwide epidemic? Would you like for the courts and social agencies to do if your child was a victim of ‘statutory rape?’

References

Elstein, Sharon G., & Davis, Noy. (1997). Sexual relationships between adult males and young teen girls: Exploring the legal and social responses. American Bar  Association Center on Children and the Law. Retrieved from www.abanet.org/child/statutory-rape.pdf

Shapiro, Joseph P., & Wright, Andrea R. (1995). Sins of the fathers. U.S. News & World  Report. Retrieved from www.usnews.com/usnews/culture/articles/950814    /archive_032639.htm

Steinhauer, Jennifer. (1995). Study cites adult males for most teen-age births. The New York Times. Retrieved from www.nytimes.com/1995/08/02/us/study-cites-adult-males-for-most-teen-age-births.html?pagewanted=print

United Way of Milwaukee. (2006). If truth be told. United Way of Milwaukee, WI. Retrieved from http://www.unitedwaymilwaukee.org/PDFs/uwgm_TPRexecsumm.pdf

 

 

Who Should Abandon Their Position – Israel or Hamas?

Who should abandon their position in the Israel-Palestinians War? Vote your choice and start a discussion on how to decrease the abandonment issues this conflict is causing worldwide.

 





Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving By: J. Ray Rice is Released on Amazon.com

The wait is over! Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving has been released for immediate sale on Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com!

Price has been discounted 20%!

Thank You for Loving Me!
John

Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving by: J. Ray Rice


 

Thank You for Loving Me! is dedicated:

“To those who love, and to those who want to be loved!”

James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief of The Midwest Book Review wrote:

“Thank You for Loving Me! is about the practical psychology in a poetic format of loving and healing based on John Rice’s self-help, self-improvement seminar. It is about the necessity of taking risk, pursuing dreams; the role of friendship and the nature of love in the human experience; the impediments we all heir to; the concepts, values, and standards we all held to (by ourselves as well as by others); and the critical role of gratitude in peace of mind and personal tranquility. The psychology is sound, the style simple, the message elegant, the book timely and timeless.”

    • Chapter 1 –  I Just Discovered How Much I Love You
      • What are you risking?
      • I just want to be loved!
      • It all starts with our parents.
      • Time goes on, Life moves forward.
      • Mom!
      • Wherever I am.
    • Chapter 2 –  The Almighty Image
      • I need God in my life!
      • Lord, I haven’t been hearing You!
      • Thank You for loving me, Lord!
      • Some people think?    

Chapter 3 –  In My Image

    • I had a dream!
    • The truth is…
    • And…
    • How easy it is to spend your life looking!
    • Being your friend first.
    • When I was younger…
    • Sex is an action…
    • And…
    • Friends are those who…
    • Love & friendship
    • Love, what is it?
    • There is no such thing…
    • You’re involved with another…
    • Love is!
    • It is extremely difficult…
    • I’m sorry!
    • It has been said…
    • There is something…
    • Love! For the longest time…
    • I shared with a friend…
    • Do I prefer casual sex?
    • It is one of the greatest ironies of love…
    • I have learned…
    • Emotions and feelings…
    • Can you understand?
    • If you haven’t experience!
    • And…
    • Where does love begin?
    • There are two stages…
  • Chapter 4 –  Do I Chase You Away?
    • What do you want?
    • Whenever I see someone…
    • I met someone!
    • If I were honest?
    • I wonder?
    • Would I chase you away?
    • What should I do?
    • Before we can talk!
    • You say you’ve said that…
    • And…
    • I finally fell…
    • I’m sorry!
    • I’m sorry that I…
    • There are times when…
    • When I am silent…
    • Wow!
    • You know!
    • At times I feel…
    • If we would only be…
    • I don’t want to…
  • Chapter 5 –  Can I Be Held?
    • It was a moment…
    • When I say no.
    • Have you noticed?
    • If we discover…
    • I’m loved by…
    • I’m sorry I’m not capable…
  • Chapter 6 –  Thank You For Loving Me!
    • Thank you for…
    • I love you!
    • Thank you!
    • The key to peace is…
    • Thank you..It hasn’t been easy!
    • Thank you…for teaching…
    • Thank you…Because.
    • Thank you…I have experienced.
    • Thank you…You know.
    • Thank you for loving…
  • Epilogue

Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving by: J. Ray Rice

The third edition of Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving has been released for purchase online at CreateSpace and Amazon.com. This is one of three books by J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W., that will be released in 2008.

Thank You for Loving Me! has been rewritten over 200 times since its first copyright in 1977. It started out as a personal growth journal the author kept during therapy. When he was a graduate student in training to become a therapist he realized that he could not take someone else to a point or level he had not reached himself. To achieve this end he began his personal growth journal that grew into a book that he has been written over 36 years.

Lessons in life have to be experienced and learned. You just cannot tell people what to do and how to do it. They have to learn! Thank You for Loving Me is a book that you will read and reread to understand the life lessons in it. The author took 36 years to write this book and friends that have read and reread the book before are still learning and seeing new lessons in the book.

The format of the book is written in proses. Prose is not poetry; prose is a matter-of-fact form of writing.

Remember the Chinese proverb, “Give a person a fish and feed them for the day, teach them how to fish and feed them for a lifetime.” Thank You for Loving Me teaches you how to love and heal so you can love and heal a lifetime!

 

Brief explanation of the book:

 

 

  • What is the manuscript about?
    • Thank You For Loving Me is about the human experience of loving and being loved. It assists the reader to understand how issues of abandonment have affected their self-esteem and the way they look at life events. It offers a tool on how to go about resolving ones’ hurts and losses.
  • Who should read it?
    • Anyone who loves and want to be love should read Thank You For Loving Me! It is written to adolescences and adults; male and female; straight and gay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • What will the reader learn from it?
    • How to learn to love and be loved by others and ourselves.
    • How to resolve our abandonment issues so we can feel completely safe and secure in who we are as individuals.
    • How and why we should respect all the people of the world.
  • Why it is important?
    • To increase our ability to love others and ourselves.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues increases our ability to resolve conflicts.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues enhances our ability to succeed in living within the global community.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues reduces wars and violence toward each other.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to live together as a family.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to commit and rear our children.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to bond and succeed in long-term relationships.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to be tolerant of people, cultures, and norms that are different from ours.

 

Anticipated market for the book

 

 

  • Who is the book marketed to and who should read this book?
    • Adolescences (13 years old and up) and all adults, male and female.
  • How big is the audience?
    • Worldwide
  • How many copies will be printed?
    • Print-on-demand allows any book order of one or more copies to be printed and shipped worldwide within a week of ordering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Will the book be illustrated?

 

 

  • Yes!
  • The book has 36 beautiful and feeling illustrations drawn by William (“Bill”) Sawicki (03/19/1945 – 02/18/2001).

 
Author’s qualifications

 

 

  • What makes this author qualified to write this book?
    • The author is a trained social worker that has been treating abandonment issues all of his life.
    • He has traveled to 19-countries and examined these issues in their societies.
  • What are his credentials?
    • The author has a Master of Social Work degree.
    • He has treated thousands of teens, adults, and their families
  • How has he developed his experience in writing about this subject?
    • He has designed and administrated treatment programs with a specialty in resolving abandonment issues.
    • He developed the books during his own treatment experiences and enhanced it over the years in the treatment of others.
    • He has used his book in therapy with adolescences and adult for 30 years.
    • He has lectured and trained national and internationally on abandonment issues and the effects of unresolved abandonment issues on individuals, groups and societies.

 

Format of the manuscript

 

 

  • Thank You For Loving Me is written in proses.

 

Can I order a copy of the second edition, published in 1997 without the illustrations?

 

 

  • Yes, drop us an email.

 

Can I give a review on the 1st and 2nd editions of… Thank You For Loving Me?

 

 

  •  Yes! Just click on Add Comment.   

 

 

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