Tag Archives: drug abuse

Analysis the Abandonment Issues in George Sodini’s Blog

I credit ABCNews for all of the quoted text I am using from George Sodini’s blog. I have yet to hear or read an analysis of George Sodini’s behaviors and blog in terms of abandonment issues. I believe it is important to understanding that these events and actions are all about abandonment. Everybody seems to be missing this in their understanding of the events that cause human behaviors. I hope with this analysis it provides a deeper understanding of how abandonment affects us. Then, maybe we can began treating and teaching what is important! George Sodini in his pathology provides this opportunity. My heart goes out to the people that have to heal from the pain and suffering he caused.

Acts of abandonment occurs normally in all forms of human interactions and communications…verbal or nonverbal, spoken or written, passive or aggressive. Each of the following statements are out of George Sodini’s blog. I have chosen the items that would explain best my theory base. I feel we must understand what you are looking at, because we cannot treat what we do not understand! As I wrote in my book, Thank You for Loving Me…history is repeating itself because we fail to learn it lessons.

12/31/08 – “My dad never asked (not once) talked to me or asked about my life’s detail and tell me what he knew.” [We are abandoned even when people we love are alive, simply by them not giving us the attention, directions, and love we want and need.]

12/31/08 – “He was just a useless sperm donor.” [I believe it is safe to assume that in George’s eyes bonding didn’t take place between his dad and himself. He also saw his dad and himself as being emasculated by women. His father didn’t know how to deal with his wife, nor protect George and he felt his father abandoned him.]

12/31/08 – “Brother was actually counter-productive and would try to embarrass me or my efforts when pursuing things, esp. girls early on (teen years).” [Older brothers are most valuable when they protect and encourage. George felt abandoned by his brother for the behavior shown toward him.]

12/31/09 – “Mum – The Central Boss…Don’t piss her off or she will be mad and vindictive for years. Her way and only her way with no flexibility toward everyone in the household.” [George may have seen himself powerless (emasculated) in relationships with his mother and other women. Unable to talk with or trust women George developed a fear that women would emasculated him by abandoning their nurturing role he saw other men experiencing. I am still waiting for his ‘core abandonment issue’ to surface in future materials or interviews.]

1/5/09 – “Michael Sodini – A Boss…Always the big bully…” [George saw him the same way ‘Mum’ acted, as a bully. One that imposes one’s authority over another and make someone else feel humiliated or worthless. Rage develops time and we have seem the results of this in the personalities of the Columbine Shooting, Virginia Tech, and others murders.]

1/5/09 – “Sherry – sister – More of a victim than anything. Copes by exercising much control over her adult children. We used to be close until her control of L (Lisa) and D (David) caused a conflict. Never the same after.” [He came to the defense of his niece and nephew whom he liked. He wanted to protect them from what he saw as bully behavior at the cost of his relationship with his sister.]

1/5/09 – “Life is just playing games. One or two dates with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same…Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone.” [This was written the day before he was to carryout this planned shooting at the gym the first time. He viewed human interactions as a game that he couldn’t master no matter how hard he tried. He felt abandoned because women didn’t love him and he didn’t know how to get them to love him.]

1/5/09 – “I wish I had the answers. Bye.” [He wanted help, but he can’t ask, nor accept! His sense of self was too damaged and his skill set too low.]

 

Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived…I know this firm is using this downturn as an excuse to take advantage of a bad situation and kill jobs necessarily… I would never have a shoot’em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far! I predict I won’t survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. (George Sodini, 4/24/09) [It is clear that George feared that his firm was going to abandon him. I believe his statement suggests that his firm may have been at-risk if they had fired him.]


5/4/09 – “The big problem on my mind is that my job will end soon. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed – nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows.”
[He wanted someone to discover his fears and pain. He wants someone to look beyond his surface appears and see the real him. He is also warning us of others who are wolves in sheep clothing. Remember we can’t treat what we lack the understanding of how it looks. Society has abandoned him in not seeing the causes (abandonment) and effects of his behaviors.]

5/5/09 – “I want to do this before I get laid off.” [He didn’t want to have to change his plans at the gym against shooting just women and change it to his place of employment.]

5/18/09 – “Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else. I no longer have any expectations of myself.” [Depressed and abandoned.]

 

I was invited to a picnic, and I went. An older women there, out of the blue, asked me if I liked high school. They quickly asked if I was picked on very much. Interesting why she would ask that. But thanks, I already know what the problem is, but a solution eludes me. (George Sodini, 5/25/09)
[Here George didn’t have the courage to ask someone who could read the effects of bullying how was he showing those effects.]


I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982. Proof I am total malfunction. Girls and women don’t even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something Blatantly wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is.
(George Sodini, 7/20/09) [There is another major unresolved abandonment issues here, but George avoid discussing this event that has affected his ability in trusting women.]


7/23/09 – “I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys, etc. Zilch. What a waste.” [George’s didn’t resolve the issues that were underlining the behavior, nor develop the skills and attributes he needed to succeed.


The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many others areas. Everything stays the same regardless of the effort I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for over 30 years, I have not. (George Sodini, 8/2/09) [He felt that he has failed. He doesn’t know how to control his life without having control of others, which is model he developed in. This is relationship pattern he knows and he doesn’t have the skills and attributes to achieve different results.]

 

8/3/09 – “Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged by GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid.” [Here George explains why he believes God would not abandon him for his actions.]

 

Also, any of the “Practice Papers” left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others. (George Sodini, 8/3/09) [The best way to analysis George and his actions are in terms of abandonment issues. Unresolved abandonment issues is what we need to be identifying and treating from birth. Resolving abandonment issues will also assist the family members and friends who have lost love ones or harm in George’s actions. Society would benefit greatly if we can learn the lessons here, because they will not stop until we get it right!]


Miscellaneous:

“Lee Ann Valdiserri had my baby in early 1991. Haven’t seen her since she was about four months into it.” [This unresolved abandonment issue contribute to George not having sex since 1990 when he was 29 years old. It also reinforce his mistrust of having relationships with women. The date of the last time sexual relationship doesn’t match his 7/20/09 post, but the unresolved abandonment is real if he has a child that he has never bonded with and protected.]

 

My prays go out to the families, friends, and loved one affected by George’s actions. Lets make this a teachable experience for all. It is truly all about abandonment!

Related Article:

The Effects of the Unresolved Abandonment Issues of George Sodini

Copyright 2009 by: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.
Email: jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

 

 

 

 

The Effects of the Unresolved Abandonment Issues of George Sodini

I offer see searches to my blog on the subject of…the abandonment issues of men! The actions of George Sodini at a gym shooting provides a teachable moment on this subject. I will write more when information has been made public that will identify his core abandonment issues. If you click on his name you will read information from his blog on CNN and here is a second link to his full blog on ABCNews.

Like the other killers I have profiled on my blog I am not excusing their actions, but providing understanding into the dynamics that produced their behaviors. I want you to understand that…its all about abandonment! It is reported that George Sodini wrote that he has not had a girlfriend since 1984 and no sexual relationships since 1990 when he was 29. It is also reported that he hated his mother and women. These events are caused by issues of abandonment.

In my ongoing survey that you will find below… I ask readers to identify their most current abandonment experience…rejection is number one! Our failure to understand the impact that abandonment experiences have on us continues to be overlooked in our behaviors and reactions to life’s events. This is why I have spend my life’s work since high school in understanding the psychology and effects that unresolved abandonment experiences have on everyone, some more than others.

Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving has been written during a 30-year span of my professional and personal life assisting people resolving their abandonment issues. I hope that you will use it alone with What I Must Give Myself…First to identify and facilitate the healing process of your unresolved abandonment issues.

Related articles (they will open in a new window):

The Common Denominators of Unresolved Abandonment Issues and Guns in Mass Murders

What Is Your “Core Abandonment Issue?”

My Most Recent Abandonment Experience Is?

Abandonment Issues…The Answers To Human Behaviors

Adult Males Must Abandon Fathering Teenagers’ Babies

What Is America’s Most Pressing Abandonment Issue as a Nation?

Should Americans Abandon Their Rights to Bear Arms?

How Unresolved Abandonment Issues Affected Robert Hawkins

Abandon the Practice of Sexual Abuse and Rape

Wednesday, May 20, 2009A national committee in Ireland released a report revealing six-decades of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse on children in the care of the church and state.

I have being writing about how all communications, actions, and reactions can cause people or societies to experience feelings and acts of abandonment. This story is about how the laws, policies, institutions, behaviors, and the actions of the very people entrusted with the care of innocent children have caused a nation to be abandoned.

Sad, I must point-out how the people of Ireland are left with unresolved abandonment issues because of the rules the Catholic Church had the state agree too in order to ensure their cooperation in the investigation. This nation is left with unresolved abandonment issues because the people responsible for these crimes cannot be charged!

Please view this report from CNN and give your comments after viewing the videos and reading about this story. The report can be read or download from The Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse.

I will write next about how the practice of sexual abuse and rape in America is causing its victims to experience abandonment from one generation to the next. I do not know of any nation that is without this shame!

 

Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison will be the topic on “It’s A New Day” WJZD 94.5 FM


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
John Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.
jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

J. Ray Rice will discuss his article “Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison” on “IT’S A NEW DAY” with Radio Host RIP DANIELS, on WJZD 94.5 FM in Gulfport, MS – Tuesday, April 28, 2009 – 9AM to 11AM C.S.T.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL – April 25, 2009 – J. Ray Rice, is a speaker, trainer, and author of 2 books selling on Amazon.com Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving and its’ personal growth journal, What I Must Give Myself…First! Rice will be the guest on “It’s A New Day” with host Rip Daniels on WJZD 94.5 FM out of Gulfport, MS, April 28, 2009 9AM to 11AM C.S.T. The show will be broadcast in Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, and over the Internet at http://www.itisanewday.com. Listeners in the U.S., can join the conversation by calling toll free 1-866-945-9455. Rice chose to write this topic because 1 out of 9 black males between the ages of 20 – 34 is in prison. Rice will discuss how culture, behavior, social policies, and drugs laws have all contributed to black males abandoning themselves and society. This topics is one of over 40 articles and surveys on this blog with readers from 140 different nations.

Rice wants you to understand the next time you see or hear of destructive behaviors or actions, be they, physical, emotional, social, or philosophical that “it is all about abandonment.” Often after school shootings, mass murders, murder-suicide, and wars we are left questing what would cause someone to commit these actions or place himself or herself in jeopardy of going to prison. Rice’s theory is that they all share a common denominator…unresolved abandonment issues! For him, all forms of communications and interactions produce abandonment feelings and events. For some their earlier abandonment issues have severely damaged their self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and reasoning abilities. Over a person’s lifetime, left unresolved, these experiences could result in the kind of behaviors and actions we see in the news. Rice writes, “history is repeating itself because we are not learning and resolving the issues that created the problem in the first place.” When a society abandons its citizens, their citizens abandons society. Neither is safe.

Rice, a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers of the National Association of Social Workers since 1979, has been studying the effects of unresolved abandonment issues for over 30 years and has traveled in 19-countries studying their culture and delivery of social services. His books are written to teach us how to heal abandonment issues, and his blog shows us how abandonment experiences and actions (real or perceived) can produce unresolved abandonment issues within any individual or society, impairing their function and justifying in some, the killing of strangers and love-ones alike.

J. Ray Rice is a unique trainer and speaker, nationally and internationally.

For more information contact: J. Ray Rice

Read parts 1 and 2 of “Why Some Black Men Are Abandoning Society for Prison.

What My Abandonment Surveys Reveal

By: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

First, I want thank each of you that have answered my surveys and I encourage you to do the same. For me, abandonment is a normal consequence of all interactions and communications between people and by people.

Naturally, some abandonment experiences leave us with more traumatic issues than others and their impact should not to be minimized by anyone.

In my opinion, it is to very one’s best interest for them to
go into therapy at some point and time in their life. It is difficult sometimes to go through life’s experiences and not have them affect you someway. It takes strength to look at ourselves and discuss how life events and experiences may be affecting our interpersonal interactions or self-esteem. It is not a shameful act to seek the advice or counseling of a trained mental health
professional.

The following individual polls result can be viewed by
clicking on view result under the vote button at the end of each survey. Here are the results from the five current surveys on this site. Please keep in mind that the results today may be different that those given at the time of the posting.

I welcome your comments and observations. So, please give them! 

On the question of: Who Should Abandon Israel or Hamas! (As of 03/14/09) 33% said Israel

On
the question of: Should We Be Talking
with Our Enemies?

(As of 03/14/09) 81% said Yes!

On the question of: When You Hear or See
the Name…Dr. King does it
Remind You that He was a Reverend?
(As of 03/14/09) 60% said No!

On the question of: My Most Recent
Abandonment Experience Is?                                 
(As of 03/14/09) 22% said, “I experienced rejection!”

On the question of: What is your “Core
Abandonment Issue?”                                             
(As of 03/14/08) 17% I experienced emotion, physical, or sexual abuse!”

Please cast your vote on these questions and give your comments to these results.