Tag Archives: abandonment issues

Why We Abandoned…’Do Not Tell’…in the Military!

We finally understand and accept that if your rights are denied…mine are not protected!

As a black man who grew-up during the civil rights movement in  America, I am keenly aware of the excuses given for not granting rights.

  • The bible says…
  • You are not white…
  • You are not equal..
  • You are 3/5 of a man….
  • You are not good enough…
  • It has always been that way…
  • You are not smart enough…
  • You are not responsible enough…
  • We do not want you marrying our daughters…
  • You came from an ape…
  • You are black…
  • You are needed to clean my house, raise my children, shine my shoes, and pick my crops…
  • You will drink or eat at the same sources…
  • You will want to vote and have blacks representing you in congress …
  • You are a boy…
  • I don’t want to have to respect you as another human being…
  • You have not earned it…
  • I don’t want you to have any rights, because it take away from mine…
  • Not now…wait!

Soldiers in any branch of service to their country have enough to worry about!

  • Being killed…
  • Being wounded…
  • Being capture…
  • Losing their ability to walk, speak, see, write, think, sleep, hold, eat, drink, hear, control their bodily functions, or have sex…
  • Providing for their family…
  • Loss of job and income…
  • Loss of their place in society…
  • Developing PTSD…
  • Experiencing the loss of fellow soldiers…
  • Being abandoned by their nation…
  • Becoming a prison of war…
  • Not receiving the care their need when they return…
  • Missing milestones in their children development…
  • Growing apart from their spouse, children, and friends…
  • Experiencing a change in their personality or outlook of life…

The last thing they need “is being discharged while being gay!

You are who you are!

Telling someone to not be themselves is stupid and it shows a lack of respect for our fellow human being! The following nations allow gays to serve openly in their army forces:

  • Australia
  • Austria
  • Belgium
  • Britain
  • Canada
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Estonia
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Ireland
  • Israel
  • Italy
  • Lithuania
  • Luxembourg
  • Netherlands
  • Norway
  • Slovenia
  • South Africa
  • Spain
  • Sweden
  • Switzerland
  • Uruguay
  • And now…The United State of America!

 

When you respect life… you respect all-life!

Not just the ones you prefer!

 


Related articles:


Please take a one-question survey on this issues!


 

Should the U.S. Supreme Court Rule to Abandon ‘Strip Searches’ in Schools?

This is another example of how social polices and laws can abandon its citizens, or cause its citizens to feel abandoned. I ask that you read this news article on ABCNews.com. It is titled “Justices hear arguments over school strip search.”

Then, I would like you to vote on whether the Supreme Court should rule in favor of allowing the practice of “strip search” in our schools or rule to abandon the practice. Your own argument is encouraged in your comments!

 

Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison will be the topic on “It’s A New Day” WJZD 94.5 FM


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
John Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.
jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

J. Ray Rice will discuss his article “Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison” on “IT’S A NEW DAY” with Radio Host RIP DANIELS, on WJZD 94.5 FM in Gulfport, MS – Tuesday, April 28, 2009 – 9AM to 11AM C.S.T.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL – April 25, 2009 – J. Ray Rice, is a speaker, trainer, and author of 2 books selling on Amazon.com Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving and its’ personal growth journal, What I Must Give Myself…First! Rice will be the guest on “It’s A New Day” with host Rip Daniels on WJZD 94.5 FM out of Gulfport, MS, April 28, 2009 9AM to 11AM C.S.T. The show will be broadcast in Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, and over the Internet at http://www.itisanewday.com. Listeners in the U.S., can join the conversation by calling toll free 1-866-945-9455. Rice chose to write this topic because 1 out of 9 black males between the ages of 20 – 34 is in prison. Rice will discuss how culture, behavior, social policies, and drugs laws have all contributed to black males abandoning themselves and society. This topics is one of over 40 articles and surveys on this blog with readers from 140 different nations.

Rice wants you to understand the next time you see or hear of destructive behaviors or actions, be they, physical, emotional, social, or philosophical that “it is all about abandonment.” Often after school shootings, mass murders, murder-suicide, and wars we are left questing what would cause someone to commit these actions or place himself or herself in jeopardy of going to prison. Rice’s theory is that they all share a common denominator…unresolved abandonment issues! For him, all forms of communications and interactions produce abandonment feelings and events. For some their earlier abandonment issues have severely damaged their self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and reasoning abilities. Over a person’s lifetime, left unresolved, these experiences could result in the kind of behaviors and actions we see in the news. Rice writes, “history is repeating itself because we are not learning and resolving the issues that created the problem in the first place.” When a society abandons its citizens, their citizens abandons society. Neither is safe.

Rice, a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers of the National Association of Social Workers since 1979, has been studying the effects of unresolved abandonment issues for over 30 years and has traveled in 19-countries studying their culture and delivery of social services. His books are written to teach us how to heal abandonment issues, and his blog shows us how abandonment experiences and actions (real or perceived) can produce unresolved abandonment issues within any individual or society, impairing their function and justifying in some, the killing of strangers and love-ones alike.

J. Ray Rice is a unique trainer and speaker, nationally and internationally.

For more information contact: J. Ray Rice

Read parts 1 and 2 of “Why Some Black Men Are Abandoning Society for Prison.

Should Americans Abandon Their Rights to Bear Arms?

Since March 10, 2009 44 have been killed in the United States in mass murders. A total of 200 have been killed in American in 50 mass murders since Virginia Tech in April 16, 2007. (ABCNews, April 4, 2009)

Please vote on the question below. Your comments are welcome!

 

 



The Common Denominators of Unresolved Abandonment Issues and Guns in Mass Murders

I have been writing and giving examples of how communications and interactions between individuals, groups, and societies can cause abandonment issues. Left unresolved these issues can damage our self-esteem, impart our problem-solving abilities, and contribute to some too act violent toward others and themselves. Sometimes, these events affect us so severely and often that they can be the driving force behind some of the most serve acts of violence and taking of innocent lives.

The following are some of the high profile murders that have been in the news from April 5, 2007 and dating back to Christmas of 2008. I believe that all of these individuals has unresolved abandonment issues that are at the root of their actions, along with the asset to guns!

I would like for you to read and listen to the information provided in the following links that reveal their unresolved abandonment issues. Afterward please give your comments and understanding about these issues and actions.

April 5, 2009
“Police: Dad Killed Kids Because Wife Was Leaving” (Phuonge Le, AP, ABCNews)

James Harrison’s unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his wife betrayed him in an affair, and b) she was going to leave him for another man.

April 4, 2009
“Gunman ‘Lying in Wait’ Kills 3 Pittsburgh Officers” (Plushnick-Masti and Dan Nephin, AP, ABCNews)

Richard Poplawski’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) loss of job, b) fear of loss of his right to bear-arms, and c) possible eviction by his mother for his dog urinating in her home.

April 3, 2009
“As NY Gunman’s Life Unraveled, He Took Others’ (Rubinkam, AP, ABCNews)

Jiverly Wong’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) loss of job, b) his failure to speak English well, c) his lack of acceptance, and d) in his eyes the Center’s failure to teach him English and provide the America Dream.

March 13, 2009
“Doubts Arise Over Threat by German Teenage Gunman” (Leske, ABCNews)

Tim Kretschmer’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) feelings of abandonment/rejection by classmates and school, and b) feelings of depression due to him lacking to successfully bond with family and friends.

March 16, 2009
“Slain Ala. Mother Mourned as Unique, Independent” (Hunter, AP, ABCNews)

Michael McLendon’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his failure to become a law-enforcement officer, and b) his family failure to contribute to his success in his eyes.

March 22, 2009
“Oakland Seeking Answers in Police Killings” (Jesse McKinley, NYTimes)

Lovelle Mixon’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his fear of returning to prison on a warrant, and b) despondent over not being able to find employment.


February 24, 2009
“Boy Shoots Father’s Pregnant Girlfriend” (ABCNews)

Jordan Brown’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his fear of the loss of love from his father, b) failure to be prepared for a blended-family, c) failure to bond with father’s girlfriend, two daughter, and new baby, and d) giving him a gun when he does not have the maturity to resolve conflicts or talk about his feelings.

December 25, 2008
“Police: Burns from fire altered ‘killer Santa’ plan” (CNN)

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo’s possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his divorced from his wife, b) his feelings of abandonment from his family and his wife’s family, and c) his mother siding with his wife during the divorce.

It’s All About Abandonment! Do not forgive to vote on the issue of guns!

What My Abandonment Surveys Reveal

By: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

First, I want thank each of you that have answered my surveys and I encourage you to do the same. For me, abandonment is a normal consequence of all interactions and communications between people and by people.

Naturally, some abandonment experiences leave us with more traumatic issues than others and their impact should not to be minimized by anyone.

In my opinion, it is to very one’s best interest for them to
go into therapy at some point and time in their life. It is difficult sometimes to go through life’s experiences and not have them affect you someway. It takes strength to look at ourselves and discuss how life events and experiences may be affecting our interpersonal interactions or self-esteem. It is not a shameful act to seek the advice or counseling of a trained mental health
professional.

The following individual polls result can be viewed by
clicking on view result under the vote button at the end of each survey. Here are the results from the five current surveys on this site. Please keep in mind that the results today may be different that those given at the time of the posting.

I welcome your comments and observations. So, please give them! 

On the question of: Who Should Abandon Israel or Hamas! (As of 03/14/09) 33% said Israel

On
the question of: Should We Be Talking
with Our Enemies?

(As of 03/14/09) 81% said Yes!

On the question of: When You Hear or See
the Name…Dr. King does it
Remind You that He was a Reverend?
(As of 03/14/09) 60% said No!

On the question of: My Most Recent
Abandonment Experience Is?                                 
(As of 03/14/09) 22% said, “I experienced rejection!”

On the question of: What is your “Core
Abandonment Issue?”                                             
(As of 03/14/08) 17% I experienced emotion, physical, or sexual abuse!”

Please cast your vote on these questions and give your comments to these results.  

 

       

How the Election of Barack Obama Helps to Resolve Abandonment Issues

Listen to Jrayrice on internet talk radio Click on the blogtalkradio button to listen to this show!

It is this author’s belief that in order to resolve behaviors, misbelieves, conflicts, and wars one must resolve the abandonment issues that are at the root of these actions. Listeners are asked to read the article published on July 4, 2008 titled Resolving Abandonment Experiences with the Election of Barack Obama. It will provide the framework for discussion on this show.

What I Must Give Myself…First (Vol. 1) by: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.


Note: Price is discounted 20%

The first of two volumes of the personal growth journals (workbooks) to be used with Thank You for Loving Me! is released by CreateSpace Publishing! What I Must Give Myself…First provides the questions you need to answer in order to resolve your abandonment issues. Doing this will enhance your self-esteem and increase your ability to have healthier relationships.

To order your copy of this groundbreaking book click…

 

  • What I Must Give Myself…First!
    It is perfect for anyone that wants to heal their hurt feelings.
  • It is perfect for anyone that wants to develop their interpersonal skills.
  • It is perfect for anyone that wants to develop their personal attributes as a teacher, parent, student, therapist, leader, trainer, or partner in a relationship.
  • It is the perfect tool for parents to use to develop their youth’s abilities in choosing an appropriate boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • It is the perfect tool for adults to use to develop their abilities in choosing an appropriate partner!
  • The questions are from Thank You for Loving Me, so you will need to read it also!
  • The questions are very personal.
  • The answers are hard, because you have to supply them.
  • The experience is soul searching.
  • The results are life-changing.

 

This book will change the way you feel about yourself.
This book will assist you in changing the way you interact with others!
                                            Order yours now!

Should We Talk with Our Enemies?

Should we be talking with our enemies? Do we need to abandon the mindset of not talking with our enemies so we can resolve conflicts and behaviors that are resulting in us killing each other? J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

Vote on this question and others. Please add your comments as well.

 

Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving By: J. Ray Rice is Released on Amazon.com

The wait is over! Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving has been released for immediate sale on Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com!

Price has been discounted 20%!

Thank You for Loving Me!
John