Analysis the Abandonment Issues in George Sodini’s Blog

I credit ABCNews for all of the quoted text I am using from George Sodini’s blog. I have yet to hear or read an analysis of George Sodini’s behaviors and blog in terms of abandonment issues. I believe it is important to understanding that these events and actions are all about abandonment. Everybody seems to be missing this in their understanding of the events that cause human behaviors. I hope with this analysis it provides a deeper understanding of how abandonment affects us. Then, maybe we can began treating and teaching what is important! George Sodini in his pathology provides this opportunity. My heart goes out to the people that have to heal from the pain and suffering he caused.

Acts of abandonment occurs normally in all forms of human interactions and communications…verbal or nonverbal, spoken or written, passive or aggressive. Each of the following statements are out of George Sodini’s blog. I have chosen the items that would explain best my theory base. I feel we must understand what you are looking at, because we cannot treat what we do not understand! As I wrote in my book, Thank You for Loving Me…history is repeating itself because we fail to learn it lessons.

12/31/08 – “My dad never asked (not once) talked to me or asked about my life’s detail and tell me what he knew.” [We are abandoned even when people we love are alive, simply by them not giving us the attention, directions, and love we want and need.]

12/31/08 – “He was just a useless sperm donor.” [I believe it is safe to assume that in George’s eyes bonding didn’t take place between his dad and himself. He also saw his dad and himself as being emasculated by women. His father didn’t know how to deal with his wife, nor protect George and he felt his father abandoned him.]

12/31/08 – “Brother was actually counter-productive and would try to embarrass me or my efforts when pursuing things, esp. girls early on (teen years).” [Older brothers are most valuable when they protect and encourage. George felt abandoned by his brother for the behavior shown toward him.]

12/31/09 – “Mum – The Central Boss…Don’t piss her off or she will be mad and vindictive for years. Her way and only her way with no flexibility toward everyone in the household.” [George may have seen himself powerless (emasculated) in relationships with his mother and other women. Unable to talk with or trust women George developed a fear that women would emasculated him by abandoning their nurturing role he saw other men experiencing. I am still waiting for his ‘core abandonment issue’ to surface in future materials or interviews.]

1/5/09 – “Michael Sodini – A Boss…Always the big bully…” [George saw him the same way ‘Mum’ acted, as a bully. One that imposes one’s authority over another and make someone else feel humiliated or worthless. Rage develops time and we have seem the results of this in the personalities of the Columbine Shooting, Virginia Tech, and others murders.]

1/5/09 – “Sherry – sister – More of a victim than anything. Copes by exercising much control over her adult children. We used to be close until her control of L (Lisa) and D (David) caused a conflict. Never the same after.” [He came to the defense of his niece and nephew whom he liked. He wanted to protect them from what he saw as bully behavior at the cost of his relationship with his sister.]

1/5/09 – “Life is just playing games. One or two dates with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same…Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone.” [This was written the day before he was to carryout this planned shooting at the gym the first time. He viewed human interactions as a game that he couldn’t master no matter how hard he tried. He felt abandoned because women didn’t love him and he didn’t know how to get them to love him.]

1/5/09 – “I wish I had the answers. Bye.” [He wanted help, but he can’t ask, nor accept! His sense of self was too damaged and his skill set too low.]


Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived…I know this firm is using this downturn as an excuse to take advantage of a bad situation and kill jobs necessarily… I would never have a shoot’em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far! I predict I won’t survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. (George Sodini, 4/24/09) [It is clear that George feared that his firm was going to abandon him. I believe his statement suggests that his firm may have been at-risk if they had fired him.]

5/4/09 – “The big problem on my mind is that my job will end soon. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed – nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows.”
[He wanted someone to discover his fears and pain. He wants someone to look beyond his surface appears and see the real him. He is also warning us of others who are wolves in sheep clothing. Remember we can’t treat what we lack the understanding of how it looks. Society has abandoned him in not seeing the causes (abandonment) and effects of his behaviors.]

5/5/09 – “I want to do this before I get laid off.” [He didn’t want to have to change his plans at the gym against shooting just women and change it to his place of employment.]

5/18/09 – “Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else. I no longer have any expectations of myself.” [Depressed and abandoned.]


I was invited to a picnic, and I went. An older women there, out of the blue, asked me if I liked high school. They quickly asked if I was picked on very much. Interesting why she would ask that. But thanks, I already know what the problem is, but a solution eludes me. (George Sodini, 5/25/09)
[Here George didn’t have the courage to ask someone who could read the effects of bullying how was he showing those effects.]

I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982. Proof I am total malfunction. Girls and women don’t even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something Blatantly wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is.
(George Sodini, 7/20/09) [There is another major unresolved abandonment issues here, but George avoid discussing this event that has affected his ability in trusting women.]

7/23/09 – “I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys, etc. Zilch. What a waste.” [George’s didn’t resolve the issues that were underlining the behavior, nor develop the skills and attributes he needed to succeed.

The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many others areas. Everything stays the same regardless of the effort I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for over 30 years, I have not. (George Sodini, 8/2/09) [He felt that he has failed. He doesn’t know how to control his life without having control of others, which is model he developed in. This is relationship pattern he knows and he doesn’t have the skills and attributes to achieve different results.]


8/3/09 – “Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged by GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid.” [Here George explains why he believes God would not abandon him for his actions.]


Also, any of the “Practice Papers” left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others. (George Sodini, 8/3/09) [The best way to analysis George and his actions are in terms of abandonment issues. Unresolved abandonment issues is what we need to be identifying and treating from birth. Resolving abandonment issues will also assist the family members and friends who have lost love ones or harm in George’s actions. Society would benefit greatly if we can learn the lessons here, because they will not stop until we get it right!]


“Lee Ann Valdiserri had my baby in early 1991. Haven’t seen her since she was about four months into it.” [This unresolved abandonment issue contribute to George not having sex since 1990 when he was 29 years old. It also reinforce his mistrust of having relationships with women. The date of the last time sexual relationship doesn’t match his 7/20/09 post, but the unresolved abandonment is real if he has a child that he has never bonded with and protected.]


My prays go out to the families, friends, and loved one affected by George’s actions. Lets make this a teachable experience for all. It is truly all about abandonment!

Related Article:

The Effects of the Unresolved Abandonment Issues of George Sodini

Copyright 2009 by: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.





16 Replies to “Analysis the Abandonment Issues in George Sodini’s Blog”

  1. i found a youtube video that has this publish information virtually sentence exactly. is it your video?

  2. Thank you for reading and commenting on this article. I look forward to visiting your site as well.

    Thanks again!

  3. Great post! This is very helpful. I’m sure I’d visit your site more often. Anyway, you can drop by my favorite online hang out too, at UK Student Community. Thanks!

  4. Your comments validate the work that I placed on this blog and its website on abandonment. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your own story. Please keep read because I have over 60 articles and surveys, plus over 400 comments. I hope that you will read and comments on the two books that I wrote.

    Thank you again!

  5. At age 46 I discovered my lost memory of being abandoned for eight weeks by my parents when I was three years old. Remembering my initial abandonment and subsequently recalling my being raised as an unwanted child after my parents finally returned, had devastating effects on many of my future relationships. Subconsciously I had adopted the mind-set that “no one leaves me, because I will leave them first.” I have been married four times and walked away from many jobs and other excellent opportunities because I felt someone was about to abandon me. In most instances, I merely ‘thought’ I was going to be abandoned.

    I am now 70 years old, so the last 24 years since discovering my abandonment issues, I have been trying to put together the puzzle of my life of constant fleeing from relationships.

    I see abandonment issues experienced by other individuals reflected in the lives of these relatives and friends. Since I am now conscious of the abandonment that is prevalent in our society, I have come to believe this is a major problem for our society which the professionals seem unaware of its magnitude.

    I have long believed that a large number of violent crimes may be directly attributed to abandonment issues. I am glad that you have placed a strong emphasis on the possible connection between violent crimes and possible abandonment issues of those who enact mass murder.

    I have looked long and hard for a website similar to yours. Thank you for being a beacon for bringing abandonment to the attention of the masses.

  6. From our emails, you pretty much know that:
    1)I have two women that disrespect (and in my mother’s case) abandoned me
    2) The issues I have did result in punishment

    I think it is pretty easy to identify more with George than his victims. He’s been abandoned (I think ignored) for the greater part of his life. If only one person (a love or a employer) saw potential, worked to get that potential out of him, then his happiness could be found.

    That’s not just some Hollywood romance, but a possible conclusion.

    Instead, we will decry and detest his selfish behavior, born of being abandoned and left bereft of hope, to say we need more law enforcement and rules and regs and a million other unhelpful options.

    ALL people need value and worth. George did not get any. Sure, he needed to find some outlet (w/o blood) that could occupy his time. But he needed a real friend that did not laugh at him, belittle or make light of his problems.

    I’ve heard before, “well, you could be worse off – like many in Africa,” and while that is true, LOOK at AFRICA! (What is anyone doing about that LOST continent.)

    Corruption, starvation and genocide rule still in 2009. How many times has that continent allowed millions to die?

    Getting back to George, he did what was inevitable of a person looking to do something to end his pain. Sure, again, tragedy struck all his targets. (AND NO, I have not watch cable or even network TV lately…so I don’t know the whole story. AND I refuse to Google on it.)

    The “victims” will be made martyrs – given saintly status and be turned into laws by legislatures looking to appease an unappeasable public.

    Meanwhile, nothing will truly get done. Sadness in its many forms will continue.
    Our country will fret instead of getting all on the same page.

    The Georges will crop up now and again, and the victims will rail against people with these debilitating lives – because, that’s it, his life sucks in no uncertain terms.

    A thought on the greater problem:

    TO Mainstream America: If you had not went along with short-sighted policies, you would not be here. You may have supported individual economic freedom, but you got economic servitude at the hands of people that DO NOT ever have your best interests at heart.
    Sadly, those entrusted to protect you (“the government”) are too incapable, too political, too slow, and too territorial to make over what you lost.

    In short, until we (all) make changes to our lives, make sacrifice a real part of our lives, and protect our neighbors as ourselves and build innovation and ingenuity into our daily lives, America will fall like the Roman Empire underneath a vast array of social and economic strife brought on by complacency, corruption and constitutional failings.

    But this comes from a unscuccessful, 37-year old newspaper delivery man for the NWI Times. So, indeed, what could possibly know?

  7. While I’m sure George had abandonment issues, I’m pretty sure that fact is only part of why George did what he did. I think the following psychoanalysis of his “log” will fill in a lot more gaps.

  8. I ask you to continue to read this and other articles to gain a fuller understanding. That early childhood trauma is what I am waiting to come-out. This will give us his “core abandonment issue.” Everything you talk about produces feelings of ‘abandonment’.

  9. I think it’s a bit much to say that the only issue here was Abandonment. I would add that it appears Sodini also felt frustrated on a deeper level, and that there may have been some early childhood trauma involved. Sure, abandonment played a major role, but other factors must be considered. Clearly, Sodini was mentally ill and this went untreated for a while. Add into that the fact that Sodini also seemed unfufilled in his professional life, and you have a deadly cocktail.

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