What Is America’s Most Pressing Abandonment Issue as a Nation?

What is abandonment? Abandonment (Rice, 2008) is emotions, feelings, and acts that leave us with feelings or experience of: a) alienation, b) abuse, c) loss, d) betrayal, e) desertion, f) separation, g) segregation, h) incarceration, i) rejection, or j) the fear of our security. This author views abandonment and the issues, feeling, and the experiences they invoke, voluntarily or involuntarily, to be natural and unnatural events within the human experience. All forms of social policies, laws, communication and interactions, verbal or non-verbal, written or oral, and emotional or physical can cause people to feel or experience abandonment.

Events like wars, conflicts, murder-suicides, murder, suicide, death, rape, sexual or physical abuse, cheating, withdrawn of sex or emotions, change in power, loss of power, and social or economic policies produce abandonment feeling within people, groups, and nations. These experiences or issues left unresolved affect our ability to reason, bond, trust, love, communicate, problem-solve, rear our children, respect the rights of all and live with our neighbors in peace.

Now, I would like you to read the abandonment events in this survey and chose the one that you feel is most pressing for America. I also welcome learning what the abandonment issues are in other nations. Each nation and cultural has it own. All comments are welcome!

Rice, J. (2008). Thank you for loving me! The psychology of abandonment, healing, and loving. CA: CreateSpace

 

What Is Your “Core Abandonment Issue?”

A “core abandonment issue” is the earliest abandonment event that you can remember as a young child. This event caused you to have feelings of abandonment that have affected your self-esteem, ability to bond, trust, and love yourself and/or others. This event can be resolved presently or it can still be unresolved. Please read this short article first and then vote!

 

Hello World!

Welcome to my improved blog on “Understanding Abandonment Issues and The Psychology of Human Behaviors.” I became professional aware of  unresolved abandonment issues at the age of 18, directly out of high school. I was chosen to be part of a team of 13 Americans who joined 13 Columbians to set-up and run the first YMCA Camp in of Bogota, Columbia in 1967. In our last camp session, that summer, all of the youths were from an orphanage. I exchanged one of the mine youth with another one from another American Counselor because he was so needing. The youth, who looked like he was 11 was actually 15 years old. He looked at me and said, “you are going to hurt me!” I ensured him that I wasn’t going to hurt him. For the next week I gave him all of my love and attention. It wasn’t until the last day of the camp session that I heard what he had told me.

He was getting ready to get on his bus back to the orphanage. I was getting ready to board my bus to the airport to visit two more countries in South America  before flying back to American to start college that fall.  It was not until the youth walked up to me with tears in his eyes and said to me again, “I told you that you were going to hurt me,” that I heard him. All I could do was to hug him and tell him that I was sorry and cry!

I didn’t know the impact of my actions, as good as they were! I didn’t understand how to show him the good that had come out of this experience. I didn’t know how to terminate a relationship so the person didn’t feel worse off for meeting me. For all of these reasons I changed my major at George Williams College (Founder of the YMCA) from becoming a YMCA Administrator to studying Group Work and become a Clinical Social Worker and College Instructor.

I began writing on the subject in graduate school and in 1977published my first book on the subject, Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Loving and Healing  in 1984.  In 2008 the Revised publication of Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Loving and Healing was released, alone with a Personal Growth Journal titled, What I Must Give Myself…First! Someone Else Cannot Give Me What I Am Not Able or Willing to Give Myself.

These two books are Self-Help books that can enhance one’s treatment in therapy. They don’t read like a normal book, but assist in facilitating a “corrective learning experience!”  I spent 20 years writing and rewriting Thank You for Loving Me! It started out as my diary doing my years in therapy and then I developed it for the use in the treatment of adolescents and adults in individual and group therapy.

I am proud that 2014 marks the seventh year that my blog has been up and running! I have had readers from at least 189 different countries and I thank each of you. I thank you for reading  my articles and adding your comments to my posts. If you have not already voted in all of the surveys, please click on “Surveys” on the sidebar, and participate in each of them. Your participation and feedback is appreciated!

Also, please continue to purchase and read my two books on Amazons and don’t forget to submit your reviews.

As an Author, Speaker, and Consultant, I am available to lecture at your school or college; or keynote a speaking event; or facilitate  workshops for your institution, organization, or business. Speaking/Training fees will be reduced if an order of books are included in the event.

Please email me at jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

My Passport is current and my bags can be packed for international or national engagements!

 

Resolving The Abandonment Issues In Sexual Orienatation, Marriage, and Family

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.”

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. King’s quote speaks to the politics of humankind. You only have to look at the behaviors and actions of how we can tell a lie long enough, and offer enough, to be preceded as the truth. Our politicians do this to us to influence public opinion so they can lie to us. We quote our bibles and our belief systems to justify our prejudices, hateful acts, and discrimination against people or groups we do not like. To read the whole article click here and please comment.

President Obama on Marriage

Don’t Abandon President Obama & Your Quest for What is Right!

When you support The President you are supporting yourself, your family, your friends, and your nation. Please listen to his video and contribute to his Re-Election so we can continue task of the building of a Better America…a Caring America…and a Caring World.

Watch and remember what Barack Obama has done for this nation.

Take action and support his Re-Election!

“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about those who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”
Harvey MacKay

Re-Elect President Obama!

 

The Cost of Abandonment in War

                                
Apollo XVI – 1972-04-16 from NASA and pdphoto.org                                                    

The cost of abandonment in war lives on from generation to generation. Each time we go to war we will always create more unresolved abandonment issues then we resolve. War is not the answer!

 

  • It cost us money to address social and economic issues in or out of our own country.
  • It cost us the lives that are lost and in the cost of the lives of the children, spouses, parents, friends, and companies that lost them.
  • It cost us in the contributions these individuals had yet had the opportunity to contribute to the world.
  • It cost us in the lives of the people we killed.
  • It cost us our safety from people who now have an enhanced reason and desire to kill.
  • It cost us our ethics.
  • It cost us in the lost of lives, livelihoods, and our physical, emotional, and mental health.
  • It cost us to experience an increase in the break-up of our families, societies, and civilizations.
  • It cost us conflict with our belief in God.
  • It cost us conflict in our view of the good in humankind.
  • It cost us in the fighting and disagreement within our own nation.
  • It cost us in our ability to serve and assist individuals and governments to achieve human rights and peace.
  • It cost us our respect of ourselves and others.

Why? Watch a Robert Greenwald film (75-minutes): Iraq for Sale: War Profiteers

Also watch the Olberman: Bush Interview Unforgiveable (12-minutes)

Abandoning Our Vote?


pdphoto.org

Like you my father, step-father, and uncles they all fought to keep America free! This included our right to vote for the officials running our government.

In an earlier article on this blog it was pointed out that laws and social polices causes its citizens to experience abandonment feelings and events. What about when those in our country develop a system that abandons our right to elect our government. We see it happening all of the time around the world, yet we feel safe in America that our vote counts.

Is our vote at risk as well? Watch Hacking Democracy on the Internet and give your comments to this question. Do we need to abandon electronic voting in order to protect our vote and our right to elect our officials?

Click here to watch! Don’t forgive to comment. Protect your vote!

My Most Recent Abandonment Experience Is?

What is your most recent abandonment issue or experience? As stated in other articles on this blog abandonment experiences are normal outcomes of our day-to-day interactions, communications, behaviors, and reactions. This survey is seeking to identify your most recently abandonment experience.

Please read the choices and select the best answer for yourself. No information is saved about your IP address, nor are any cookies added to your computer. Only your answer and the time is reported for any of our surveys.

Thank you for your participation and vote often! Please return to review the results and read the upcoming articles!

If you haven’t taken the survey…What Is Your Core Abandonment Issues, please do so now!

 

Does Wording Cause Us to Abandon Ideas or Concepts?

Please answer yes or no to this question without thinking about it!

 

Please answer the other quick polls on this blog! Thank you!

When Do You Need To Look At Abandoning Your Belief System?

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

When do you need to look at abandoning your belief system? Here are my thoughts! Click here!

                    Coming Soon: The Link Between Terrorism and Unresolved Abandonment Issues!
By: J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W.

J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.