Abandonment Issues and The Psychology of Human Behaviors
http://www.itsallaboutabandonment.com
Understanding The Psychology and Effects of Abandonment Issues

What Is Your "Core Abandonment Issue?"

A "core abandonment issue" is the earliest abandonment event that you can remember as a young child. This event caused you to have feelings of abandonment that have affected your self-esteem, ability to bond, trust, and love yourself or others. This event can be resolved presently or it can still be unresolved. To read more please click here first and then vote! 
                                           
 

Resolving The Abandonment Issues In Sexual Orienatation, Marriage, and Family

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.”

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. King’s quote speaks to the politics of humankind. You only have to look at the behaviors and actions of how we can tell a lie long enough, and offer enough, to be preceded as the truth. Our politicians do this to us to influence public opinion so they can lie to us. We quote our bibles and our belief systems to justify our prejudices, hateful acts, and discrimination against people or groups we do not like. To read the whole article click here and please comment.

President Obama on Marriage

Don't Abandon President Obama & Your Quest for What is Right!

When you support The President you are supporting yourself, your family, your friends, and your nation. Please listen to his video and contribute to his Re-Election so we can continue task of the building of a Better America...a Caring America...and a Caring World.

Watch and remember what Barack Obama has done for this nation.

Take action and support his Re-Election!


...

<< MORE >>

The Cost of Abandonment in War


 
                                
                                       
Apollo XVI - 1972-04-16 from NASA and pdphoto.org                                                    

The cost of abandonment in war lives on from generation to generation. Each time we go to war we will always create more unresolved abandonment issues then we resolve. War is not the answer!

  • It cost us money to address social and economic issues in or out of our own country.
  • It cost us the lives that are lost and in the cost of the lives of the children, spouses, parents, friends, and companies that lost them.
  • It cost us in the contributions these individuals had yet had the opportunity to contribute to the world.
  • It cost us in the lives of the people we killed.
  • It cost us our safety from people who now have an enhanced reason and desire to kill. 
  • It cost us our ethics.
  • It cost us in the lost of lives, livelihoods, and our physical, emotional, and mental health.
  • It cost us to experience an increase in the break-up of our families, societies, and civilizations.
  • It cost us conflict with our belief in God.
  • It cost us conflict in our view of the good in humankind. 
  • It cost us in the fighting and disagreement within our own nation.
  • It cost us in our ability to serve and assist individuals and governments to achieve human rights and peace.
  • It cost us our respect of ourselves and others.

Why? Watch a Robert Greenwald film (75-minutes): Iraq for Sale: War Profiteers

Also watch the Olberman: Bush Interview Unforgiveable (12-minutes)

Abandoning Our Vote?

                                              
                                                                       pdphoto.org

Like you my father, step-father, and uncles they all fought to keep America free! This included our right to vote for the officials running our government.

In an earlier article on this blog it was pointed out that laws and social polices causes its citizens to experience abandonment feelings and events. What about when those in our country develop a system that abandons our right to elect our government. We see it happening all of the time around the world, yet we feel safe in America that our vote counts. 

Is our vote at risk as well? Watch Hacking Democracy on the Internet and give your comments to this question. Do we need to abandon electronic voting in order to protect our vote and our right to elect our officials?

Click here to watch! Don't forgive to comment. Protect your vote!

My Most Recent Abandonment Experience Is?

What is your most recent abandonment issue or experience? As stated in other articles on this blog abandonment experiences are normal outcomes of our day-to-day interactions, communications, behaviors, and reactions. This survey is seeking to identify your most recently abandonment experience. 

Please read the choices and select the best answer for yourself. No information is saved about your IP address, nor are any cookies added to your computer. Only your answer and the time is reported for any of our surveys.

Thank you for your participation and vote often! Please return to review the results and read the upcoming articles!

If you haven't taken the survey...What Is Your Core Abandonment Issues, please do so now!

 

Does Wording Cause Us to Abandon Ideas or Concepts?

Please answer yes or no to this question without thinking about it!

 

Please answer the other quick polls on this blog! Thank you!

When Do You Need To Look At Abandoning Your Belief System?

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

When do you need to look at abandoning your belief system? Here are my thoughts! Click here!

                    Coming Soon: The Link Between Terrorism and Unresolved Abandonment Issues!
                                                            By: J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W.
                                                          

Do Not Abandon Our Vets!

In honor of Veteran's Day - 365 Days a Year! To my father and step-father who served in War World II, and to my uncle who served in The Koren War. To Veterans everywhere, thank you! 
                        
                      You were there for us and now we need to be there for you!
 
             

                                                              Survivor Corps

Related Articles:

What Is America's Most Pressing Abandonment Issue as a Nation?

What is abandonment? Abandonment (Rice, 2008) is emotions, feelings, and acts that leave us with feelings or experience of: a) alienation, b) abuse, c) loss, d) betrayal, e) desertion, f) separation, g) segregation, h) incarceration, i) rejection, or j) the fear of our security. This author views abandonment and the issues, feeling, and experiences they invoke, voluntarily or involuntarily to be natural and unnatural events within the human experience. All forms of social policies, laws, communication and interactions, verbal or non-verbal, written or oral, and emotional or physical can cause people to feel or experience abandonment.

Events like wars, conflicts, murder-suicides, murder, suicide, death, rape, sexual or physical abuse, cheating, withdrawn of sex or emotions, change in power, loss of power, and social or economic policies produce abandonment feeling within individuals, groups, and nations. These experiences or issues left unresolved affect our ability to reason, bond, trust, love, communicate, problem-solve, rear our children, respect the rights of all and live with our neighbors in peace.

Now, I would like you to read the abandonment events in this survey and chose the one that you feel is most pressing for America. I also welcome learning what the abandonment issues are in other nations. Each nation and cultural has it own. All comments are welcome!

Rice, J. (2008). Thank you for loving me! The psychology of abandonment, healing, and loving. CA: CreateSpace

 

Abandon Your Prejudices and Support Human Rights!

Everyone needs to be concerned about the social well-being of all. Support Human Right Day 24/7/365!

Turn-up the volume and listen the first time. The second time close your eyes, open your heart, and visualize respect and freedom for all!Now read these words aloud!
We must begin to look at everyday events, behaviors, issues, and reactions as expressions of how well we are caring for people. You must understand that our thoughts and actions are causing the destruction of people and societies.

Look at how physical and emotional abuse damage people and cause them to act-out at loved ones and society. We must continue to facilitate corrective learning experiences in individuals and in society. We must stop destroying people, because they will just destroy us in return!

We must accept the differences in each other and build upon our strengths and common needs! You have the same rights as everyone else! If your rights are denied, my rights are not secured!

This is why we must resolve abandonment issues by providing corrective learning experiences that teach people how to love and accept themselves and others.

People! Let the people live and let the conflicts die! (Rice, pp. 236-237, 2008)

Let's have a discussion about this topic. What prejudice(s) are you willing to overcome to secure the rights of others? This is the question Lt. Daniel Choi a West Point Alumni is asking President Obama and all Americans!



Rice, J.R. (2008). Thank you for loving me! The psychology of abandonment, healing, and love. CA: CreateSpace

The Abandonment Issues in the Fight for Healthcare

I have written several articles on this blog about how laws and social polices cause people to experience feelings and acts of abandonment. The debate over healthcare reform is an excellent example of that fact. One side is crying that their industry will be killed if you force them to change or if people were given an 'public option'. America and its citizens has grown on the principle of freedom of choice.

The most important issues is being debated in our generation. The right to affordable healthcare is a necessity in one of the riches country in the world. If you missed President Obama speaking to the joint houses of Congress please take the time and listen to it here!


I support President Obama's goal of healthcare reform in America. This is why I am posting a link where readers can find a 'Reality Check' to their questions on this issue.

Lying about the facts has been developed into an 'art form'. Adolph Hitler is quoted as saying, "Tell a lie often enough, loud enough, and long enough, and people will believe you!" We have to be smarter than that!

The fight over the "healthcare issues are all about abandonment!" Here are some talking points for this discussion about the fears or acts of abandonment that will resolve in the passage of "healthcare reform.
  • I may loose my coverage. (You are right when you can't afford it any longer or when they drop you!)
  • We can't afford to provide insurance for everyone! (Correct, so let the uninsured continue to use the ER, which is the most expense level of care and break the system.)
  • I don't trust the government! ("We the people.." are the government!)
  • The government is going to set-up death panels and deny us care! (We already have that in managed care ran by the insurance industry!)
  • I don't want to pay for the uninsured to have coverage! (You already do!)
  • The insurance industry is concerned that their 'profits and way of doing business is going to be affected' by having healthy competition in their industry. Please check-out this news clip from MSNBC.

A Corrective Learning Experience...Peace One Day

The power of one is in each of us!

I want to change the way we look at life's events. In the hope of changing the outcome I want to change the focus of the problems to an issue that is overlooked. It is all about abandonment! Every act can create issues of abandonment. Every reaction can create the same, even good ones. Knowing this...what are you willing to do to create a day of peace on September 21, 2012?

This is the challenge that is being placed on you, if you choose to accept it, by Jeremy Gilley...Peace One Day founder and chairman.

 

Are We Abandoning Common Sense Over Guns?

Are we abandoning common sense over the right to bear arms? I did not want to believe my eyes and ears when I heard a man sporting a machine gun in the area of President Obama's visit in Phoenix. The man made a disturbing statement that "he encouraged other gun owners to sport their weapons in public so the police can get use to it!" Now, why would we want to do that? Here is that video from CNN.



Here is another man in NH saying "he brought a gun to a meeting so he could be heard!" Chris Matthews asks a question everyone in this nation should be asking. "Just because you have a right to bear arms should you bring it to a Presidential Event? Remember the history of people who had guns around Presidents!"




We do not allow people to carry guns on an airline, so why should we allow people to carry arms to "Presidential Events?" What do we think? Are we abandoning common sense over our fear that our government will abandon or restrict our right to bear arms? I would not feel safe seeing someone walking down the street, walking into a mall, sitting next to me at a bar, walking into a classroom, using the restroom, watching a movie, having a gun in their gym bag or standing in a crowd sporting a machine gun or handgun. Please answer the following question and then continue to read my other post.

 
 

Analysis the Abandonment Issues in George Sodini's Blog

I credit ABCNews for all of the quoted text I am using from George Sodini's blog. I have yet to hear or read an analysis of George Sodini's behaviors and blog in terms of abandonment issues. I believe it is important to understanding that these events and actions are all about abandonment. Everybody seems to be missing this in their understanding of the events that cause human behaviors. I hope with this analysis it provides a deeper understanding of how abandonment affects us. Then, maybe we can began treating and teaching what is important! George Sodini in his pathology provides this opportunity. My heart goes out to the people that have to heal from the pain and suffering he caused.

Acts of abandonment occurs normally in all forms of human interactions and communications...verbal or nonverbal, spoken or written, passive or aggressive. Each of the following statements are out of George Sodini's blog. I have chosen the items that would explain best my theory base. I feel we must understand what you are looking at, because we cannot treat what we do not understand! As I wrote in my book, Thank You for Loving Me...history is repeating itself because we fail to learn it lessons.

12/31/08 - "My dad never asked (not once) talked to me or asked about my life's detail and tell me what he knew." [We are abandoned even when people we love are alive, simply by them not giving us the attention, directions, and love we want and need.]

12/31/08 - "He was just a useless sperm donor." [I believe it is safe to assume that in George's eyes bonding didn't take place between his dad and himself. He also saw his dad and himself as being emasculated by women. His father didn't know how to deal with his wife, nor protect George and he felt his father abandoned him.]

12/31/08 - "Brother was actually counter-productive and would try to embarrass me or my efforts when pursuing things, esp. girls early on (teen years)." [Older brothers are most valuable when they protect and encourage. George felt abandoned by his brother for the behavior shown toward him.]

12/31/09 - "Mum - The Central Boss...Don't piss her off or she will be mad and vindictive for years. Her way and only her way with no flexibility toward everyone in the household." [George may have seen himself powerless (emasculated) in relationships with his mother and other women. Unable to talk with or trust women George developed a fear that women would emasculated him by abandoning their nurturing role he saw other men experiencing. I am still waiting for his 'core abandonment issue' to surface in future materials or interviews.]

1/5/09 - "Michael Sodini - A Boss...Always the big bully..." [George saw him the same way 'Mum' acted, as a bully. One that imposes one's authority over another and make someone else feel humiliated or worthless. Rage develops time and we have seem the results of this in the personalities of the Columbine Shooting, Virginia Tech, and others murders.]

1/5/09 - "Sherry - sister - More of a victim than anything. Copes by exercising much control over her adult children. We used to be close until her control of L (Lisa) and D (David) caused a conflict. Never the same after." [He came to the defense of his niece and nephew whom he liked. He wanted to protect them from what he saw as bully behavior at the cost of his relationship with his sister.]

1/5/09 - "Life is just playing games. One or two dates with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make, things stay the same...Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone." [This was written the day before he was to carryout this planned shooting at the gym the first time. He viewed human interactions as a game that he couldn't master no matter how hard he tried. He felt abandoned because women didn't love him and he didn't know how to get them to love him.]

1/5/09 - "I wish I had the answers. Bye." [He wanted help, but he can't ask, nor accept! His sense of self was too damaged and his skill set too low.]

Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived...I know this firm is using this downturn as an excuse to take advantage of a bad situation and kill jobs necessarily... I would never have a shoot'em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far! I predict I won't survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to continue. (George Sodini, 4/24/09) [It is clear that George feared that his firm was going to abandon him. I believe his statement suggests that his firm may have been at-risk if they had fired him.]

5/4/09 - "The big problem on my mind is that my job will end soon. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed - nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows."
[He wanted someone to discover his fears and pain. He wants someone to look beyond his surface appears and see the real him. He is also warning us of others who are wolves in sheep clothing. Remember we can't treat what we lack the understanding of how it looks. Society has abandoned him in not seeing the causes (abandonment) and effects of his behaviors.]

5/5/09 - "I want to do this before I get laid off." [He didn't want to have to change his plans at the gym against shooting just women and change it to his place of employment.]

5/18/09 - "Looking at The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED, I am from all else. I no longer have any expectations of myself." [Depressed and abandoned.]

I was invited to a picnic, and I went. An older women there, out of the blue, asked me if I liked high school. They quickly asked if I was picked on very much. Interesting why she would ask that. But thanks, I already know what the problem is, but a solution eludes me. (George Sodini, 5/25/09)
[Here George didn't have the courage to ask someone who could read the effects of bullying how was he showing those effects.]

I guess some of us were simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20 years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982. Proof I am total malfunction. Girls and women don't even give me a second look ANYWHERE. There is something Blatantly wrong with me that NO goddam person will tell me what it is.
(George Sodini, 7/20/09) [There is another major unresolved abandonment issues here, but George avoid discussing this event that has affected his ability in trusting women.]

7/23/09 - "I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys, etc. Zilch. What a waste." [George's didn't resolve the issues that were underlining the behavior, nor develop the skills and attributes he needed to succeed.


The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many others areas. Everything stays the same regardless of the effort I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for over 30 years, I have not. (George Sodini, 8/2/09) [He felt that he has failed. He doesn't know how to control his life without having control of others, which is model he developed in. This is relationship pattern he knows and he doesn't have the skills and attributes to achieve different results.]

8/3/09 - "Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged by GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid." [Here George explains why he believes God would not abandon him for his actions.]

Also, any of the "Practice Papers" left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others. (George Sodini, 8/3/09) [The best way to analysis George and his actions are in terms of abandonment issues. Unresolved abandonment issues is what we need to be identifying and treating from birth. Resolving abandonment issues will also assist the family members and friends who have lost love ones or harm in George's actions. Society would benefit greatly if we can learn the lessons here, because they will not stop until we get it right!]

Miscellaneous:

"Lee Ann Valdiserri had my baby in early 1991. Haven't seen her since she was about four months into it." [This unresolved abandonment issue contribute to George not having sex since 1990 when he was 29 years old. It also reinforce his mistrust of having relationships with women. The date of the last time sexual relationship doesn't match his 7/20/09 post, but the unresolved abandonment is real if he has a child that he has never bonded with and protected.]

My prays go out to the families, friends, and loved one affected by George's actions. Lets make this a teachable experience for all. It is truly all about abandonment!

Related Article:

The Effects of the Unresolved Abandonment Issues of George Sodini

Copyright 2009 by: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.
Email: jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com






The Effects of the Unresolved Abandonment Issues of George Sodini

I offer see searches to my blog on the subject of...the abandonment issues of men! The actions of George Sodini at a gym shooting provides a teachable moment on this subject. I will write more when information has been made public that will identify his core abandonment issues. If you click on his name you will read information from his blog on CNN and here is a second link to his full blog on ABCNews.

Like the other killers I have profiled on my blog I am not excusing their actions, but providing understanding into the dynamics that produced their behaviors. I want you to understand that...its all about abandonment! It is reported that George Sodini wrote that he has not had a girlfriend since 1984 and no sexual relationships since 1990 when he was 29. It is also reported that he hated his mother and women. These events are caused by issues of abandonment.

In my ongoing survey that you will find below... I ask readers to identify their most current abandonment experience...rejection is number one! Our failure to understand the impact that abandonment experiences have on us continues to be overlooked in our behaviors and reactions to life's events. This is why I have spend my life's work since high school in understanding the psychology and effects that unresolved abandonment experiences have on everyone, some more than others.

Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving has been written during a 30-year span of my professional and personal life assisting people resolving their abandonment issues. I hope that you will use it alone with What I Must Give Myself...First to identify and facilitate the healing process of your unresolved abandonment issues.

Related articles (they will open in a new window):

The Common Denominators of Unresolved Abandonment Issues and Guns in Mass Murders

What Is Your "Core Abandonment Issue?"

My Most Recent Abandonment Experience Is?

Abandonment Issues...The Answers To Human Behaviors

Adult Males Must Abandon Fathering Teenagers' Babies

What Is America's Most Pressing Abandonment Issue as a Nation?

Should Americans Abandon Their Rights to Bear Arms?

How Unresolved Abandonment Issues Affected Robert Hawkins

Stop Abandoning Our Planet

Please do your part in reducing your "carbon footprint" by going to
Brighter Planet
. They will tell you how to can stop abandoning our planet and reduce your "carbon footprint". Save the planet and you save yourself!


Why We Abandoned...'Do Not Tell'...in the Military!

We finally understand and accept that if your rights are denied...mine are not protected!

As a black man who grew-up during the civil rights movement in  America, I am keenly aware of the excuses given for not granting rights.
  • The bible says...
  • You are not white...
  • You are not equal..
  • You are 3/5 of a man....
  • You are not good enough...
  • It has always been that way...
  • You are not smart enough...
  • You are not responsible enough...
  • We do not want you marrying our daughters...
  • You came from an ape...
  • You are black...
  • You are needed to clean my house, raise my children, shine my shoes, and pick my crops...
  • You will drink or eat at the same sources...
  • You will want to vote and have blacks representing you in congress ...
  • You are a boy...
  • I don't want to have to respect you as another human being...
  • You have not earned it...
  • I don't want you to have any rights, because it take away from mine...
  • Not now...wait!
Soldiers in any branch of service to their country have enough to worry about!
  • Being killed...
  • Being wounded...
  • Being capture...
  • Losing their ability to walk, speak, see, write, think, sleep, hold, eat, drink, hear, control their bodily functions, or have sex...
  • Providing for their family...
  • Loss of job and income...
  • Loss of their place in society...
  • Developing PTSD...
  • Experiencing the loss of fellow soldiers...
  • Being abandoned by their nation...
  • Becoming a prison of war...
  • Not receiving the care their need when they return...
  • Missing milestones in their children development...
  • Growing apart from their spouse, children, and friends...
  • Experiencing a change in their personality or outlook of life...
"The last thing they need "is being discharged while being gay!"
You are who you are!
Telling someone to not be themselves is stupid and it shows a lack of respect for our fellow human being! The following nations allow gays to serve openly in their army forces:
  • Australia
  • Austria
  • Belgium
  • Britain
  • Canada
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Estonia
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Ireland
  • Israel
  • Italy
  • Lithuania
  • Luxembourg
  • Netherlands
  • Norway
  • Slovenia
  • South Africa
  • Spain
  • Sweden
  • Switzerland
  • Uruguay

  • And now...The United State of America!

When you respect life... you respect all-life!
Not just the ones you prefer!



Related articles:

Please take a one-question survey on this issues!


 

Adult Males Must Abandon Fathering Teenagers' Babies

    "The problem with teens sex is not simply that teens are having sex."
                       (U.S. News & World Report, Sins of the Father, 8/6/95)

In the U.S., would you be surprised to learn that teenage boys are not the fathers of the majority of babies born to teenage girls? According to an article written by Steinhauer, (NY Times, 1995), "federal and state surveys suggest that adult males are the fathers of some two-thirds of the babies born to teenage girls!"

Wisconsin provides a clear example. An Executive Summary if truth be told... prepared for the United Way of Milwaukee states, "71% of babies born to teen girls are fathered by adult males over 20-years old." In addition, if that is not disturbing enough, they found that "42% of the girls younger than 15 reported that their first intercourse was nonconsensual." In nonprofessional term, adult men raped them! In the NY Times article (1995) "in Chicago 61% of young mothers had been raped." "In Seattle, another study reported that 68% had been raped."

The American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law in 1997 conducted an exploratory research into "the responses of the courts and social service agencies to adult males having relationships with teenage girls." You can read their findings in, Sexual Relationships between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls: Exploring the Legal and Social Responses. They also found, that adult men, not teenage boys, are often responsible for impregnating most young girls." They identified the problem, but also discussed how the courts, social service agencies, the media, and the communities need to address this epidemic.

In Sins of the Fathers (Shapiro & Wright, 1995), they wrote in U.S. News & World Report, "In 1920, for example, 93% of babies born to teenagers were fathered by adults." Today we should be appalled at the fact that we as a society are looking the other way at an epidemic that is causing far more physically, emotional, psychological, and financial hardship to our children, than the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in TX. How are we as parents of children, brothers and sister of girls and as a society not demanding a stop to our girls being raped and abused?

This 'statutory rape' of our children is causing them and their children to have unresolved abandoned issues. Just read the comments at the end of the ABA reports, here is one:
        
The reason my mother doesn't like me to date older men is because my dad was 20 years older than her. And he already had three kids, my third older brothers. She says an older man wants you to cook for them, clean, do a lot of things, but they don't treat you right sometimes. And she's afraid that might happen to me. And it did happen...
                                                                         (Elstein & Noy, 1997, p. 30)  

'Statutory rape' is causing society unresolved abandonment issues by the adult males who are abandoning their children and the responsible of supporting them, rearing them, and loving them. They deserve the same love, caring, and support all of us do!

Milwaukee is following the recommendations in the ABA report. I ask that the U.S. Surgeon General declare as an epidemic 'adult males who are committing "statutory rape" or fathering the babies born to teenage girls as a public health crisis. I ask that they work to implement all of the recommendations in the ABA's report in all 50 states to stop the rape and abuse of our children and their children!

What do you think? Is this a worldwide epidemic? Would you like for the courts and social agencies to do if your child was a victim of 'statutory rape?'

References

Elstein, Sharon G., & Davis, Noy. (1997). Sexual relationships between adult males and young teen girls: Exploring the legal and social responses. American Bar  Association Center on Children and the Law. Retrieved from www.abanet.org/child/statutory-rape.pdf

Shapiro, Joseph P., & Wright, Andrea R. (1995). Sins of the fathers. U.S. News & World  Report. Retrieved from www.usnews.com/usnews/culture/articles/950814    /archive_032639.htm

Steinhauer, Jennifer. (1995). Study cites adult males for most teen-age births. The New York Times. Retrieved from www.nytimes.com/1995/08/02/us/study-cites-adult-males-for-most-teen-age-births.html?pagewanted=print

United Way of Milwaukee. (2006). If truth be told. United Way of Milwaukee, WI. Retrieved from http://www.unitedwaymilwaukee.org/PDFs/uwgm_TPRexecsumm.pdf




Abandon the Practice of Sexual Abuse and Rape

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 - A national committee in Ireland released a report revealing six-decades of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse on children in the care of the church and state.

I have being writing about how all communications, actions, and reactions can cause people or societies to experience feelings and acts of abandonment. This story is about how the laws, policies, institutions, behaviors, and the actions of the very people entrusted with the care of innocent children have caused a nation to be abandoned.

Sad, I must point-out how the people of Ireland are left with unresolved abandonment issues because of the rules the Catholic Church had the state agree too in order to ensure their cooperation in the investigation. This nation is left with unresolved abandonment issues because the people responsible for these crimes cannot be charged!

Please view this report from CNN and give your comments after viewing the videos and reading about this story. The report can be read or download from The Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse.

I will write next about how the practice of sexual abuse and rape in America is causing its victims to experience abandonment from one generation to the next. I do not know of any nation that is without this shame!

Should the U.S. Supreme Court Rule to Abandon 'Strip Searches' in Schools?

This is another example of how social polices and laws can abandon its citizens, or cause its citizens to feel abandoned. I ask that you read this news article on ABCNews.com. It is titled "Justices hear arguments over school strip search."

Then, I would like you to vote on whether the Supreme Court should rule in favor of allowing the practice of "strip search" in our schools or rule to abandon the practice. Your own argument is encouraged in your comments!

 

Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison will be the topic on "It's A New Day" WJZD 94.5 FM


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
John Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.
jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

J. Ray Rice will discuss his article "Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison" on "IT'S A NEW DAY" with Radio Host RIP DANIELS, on WJZD 94.5 FM in Gulfport, MS - Tuesday, April 28, 2009 - 9AM to 11AM C.S.T.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL - April 25, 2009 - J. Ray Rice, is a speaker, trainer, and author of 2 books selling on Amazon.com Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving and its' personal growth journal, What I Must Give Myself...First! Rice will be the guest on "It's A New Day" with host Rip Daniels on WJZD 94.5 FM out of Gulfport, MS, April 28, 2009 9AM to 11AM C.S.T. The show will be broadcast in Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, and over the Internet at http://www.itisanewday.com. Listeners in the U.S., can join the conversation by calling toll free 1-866-945-9455. Rice chose to write this topic because 1 out of 9 black males between the ages of 20 - 34 is in prison. Rice will discuss how culture, behavior, social policies, and drugs laws have all contributed to black males abandoning themselves and society. This topics is one of over 40 articles and surveys on this blog with readers from 140 different nations.

Rice wants you to understand the next time you see or hear of destructive behaviors or actions, be they, physical, emotional, social, or philosophical that "it is all about abandonment." Often after school shootings, mass murders, murder-suicide, and wars we are left questing what would cause someone to commit these actions or place himself or herself in jeopardy of going to prison. Rice's theory is that they all share a common denominator...unresolved abandonment issues! For him, all forms of communications and interactions produce abandonment feelings and events. For some their earlier abandonment issues have severely damaged their self-esteem, feelings of self-worth, and reasoning abilities. Over a person's lifetime, left unresolved, these experiences could result in the kind of behaviors and actions we see in the news. Rice writes, "history is repeating itself because we are not learning and resolving the issues that created the problem in the first place." When a society abandons its citizens, their citizens abandons society. Neither is safe.

Rice, a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers of the National Association of Social Workers since 1979, has been studying the effects of unresolved abandonment issues for over 30 years and has traveled in 19-countries studying their culture and delivery of social services. His books are written to teach us how to heal abandonment issues, and his blog shows us how abandonment experiences and actions (real or perceived) can produce unresolved abandonment issues within any individual or society, impairing their function and justifying in some, the killing of strangers and love-ones alike.

J. Ray Rice is a unique trainer and speaker, nationally and internationally.

For more information contact: J. Ray Rice

Read parts 1 and 2 of "Why Some Black Men Are Abandoning Society for Prison."

Should Americans Abandon Their Rights to Bear Arms?

Since March 10, 2009 44 have been killed in the United States in mass murders. A total of 200 have been killed in American in 50 mass murders since Virginia Tech in April 16, 2007. (ABCNews, April 4, 2009)

Please vote on the question below. Your comments are welcome!

 

The Common Denominators of Unresolved Abandonment Issues and Guns in Mass Murders

I have been writing and giving examples of how communications and interactions between individuals, groups, and societies can cause abandonment issues. Left unresolved these issues can damage our self-esteem, impart our problem-solving abilities, and contribute to some too act violent toward others and themselves. Sometimes, these events affect us so severely and often that they can be the driving force behind some of the most serve acts of violence and taking of innocent lives.

The following are some of the high profile murders that have been in the news from April 5, 2007 and dating back to Christmas of 2008. I believe that all of these individuals has unresolved abandonment issues that are at the root of their actions, along with the asset to guns!

I would like for you to read and listen to the information provided in the following links that reveal their unresolved abandonment issues. Afterward please give your comments and understanding about these issues and actions.


April 5, 2009
"Police: Dad Killed Kids Because Wife Was Leaving" (Phuonge Le, AP, ABCNews)

James Harrison's unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his wife betrayed him in an affair, and b) she was going to leave him for another man.


April 4, 2009
"Gunman 'Lying in Wait' Kills 3 Pittsburgh Officers" (Plushnick-Masti and Dan Nephin, AP, ABCNews)

Richard Poplawski's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) loss of job, b) fear of loss of his right to bear-arms, and c) possible eviction by his mother for his dog urinating in her home.


April 3, 2009
"As NY Gunman's Life Unraveled, He Took Others' (Rubinkam, AP, ABCNews)

Jiverly Wong's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) loss of job, b) his failure to speak English well, c) his lack of acceptance, and d) in his eyes the Center's failure to teach him English and provide the America Dream.


March 13, 2009
"Doubts Arise Over Threat by German Teenage Gunman" (Leske, ABCNews)

Tim Kretschmer's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) feelings of abandonment/rejection by classmates and school, and b) feelings of depression due to him lacking to successfully bond with family and friends.


March 16, 2009
"Slain Ala. Mother Mourned as Unique, Independent" (Hunter, AP, ABCNews)

Michael McLendon's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his failure to become a law-enforcement officer, and b) his family failure to contribute to his success in his eyes.


March 22, 2009
"Oakland Seeking Answers in Police Killings" (Jesse McKinley, NYTimes)

Lovelle Mixon's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his fear of returning to prison on a warrant, and b) despondent over not being able to find employment.


February 24, 2009
"Boy Shoots Father's Pregnant Girlfriend" (ABCNews)

Jordan Brown's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his fear of the loss of love from his father, b) failure to be prepared for a blended-family, c) failure to bond with father's girlfriend, two daughter, and new baby, and d) giving him a gun when he does not have the maturity to resolve conflicts or talk about his feelings.


December 25, 2008
"Police: Burns from fire altered 'killer Santa' plan" (CNN)

Bruce Jeffrey Pardo's possible unresolved abandonment issues were: a) his divorced from his wife, b) his feelings of abandonment from his family and his wife's family, and c) his mother siding with his wife during the divorce.

It's All About Abandonment! Do not forgive to vote on the issue of guns!

What My Abandonment Surveys Reveal

By: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

 

        First, I want thank each of you that have answered my surveys and I encourage you to do the same. For me, abandonment is a normal consequence of all interactions and communications between people and by people. Naturally, some abandonment experiences leave us with more traumatic issues than others and their impact should not to be minimized by anyone.

 

        In my opinion, it is to very one’s best interest for them to go into therapy at some point and time in their life. It is difficult sometimes to go through life’s experiences and not have them affect you someway. It takes strength to look at ourselves and discuss how life events and experiences may be affecting our interpersonal interactions or self-esteem. It is not a shameful act to seek the advice or counseling of a trained mental health professional.

 

        The following individual polls result can be viewed by clicking on view result under the vote button at the end of each survey. Here are the results from the five current surveys on this site. Please keep in mind that the results today may be different that those given at the time of the posting.

 

I welcome your comments and observations. So, please give them!

 

On the question of: Who Should Abandon Their Position – Israel or

Hamas! (As of 03/14/09) 33% said Israel

 

On the question of: Should We Be Talking with Our Enemies?

(As of 03/14/09) 81% said Yes!

 

On the question of: When You Hear or See the Name…Dr. King does it   

Remind You that He was a Reverend?

(As of 03/14/09) 60% said No!

 

On the question of: My Most Recent Abandonment Experience Is?

(As of 03/14/09) 22% said, “I experienced rejection!”

 

On the question of: What is your “Core Abandonment Issue?”

(As of 03/14/08) 17% said, “I experienced emotion, physical, or sexual

abuse!”



Please cast your vote on these questions and give your comments to these results.  

 

       

Who Should Abandon Their Position - Israel or Hamas?

Who should abandon their position in the Israel-Palestinians War? Vote your choice and start a discussion on how to decrease the abandonment issues this conflict is causing worldwide.

 

How the Election of Barack Obama Helps to Resolve Abandonment Issues

Listen to Jrayrice on internet talk radio Click on the blogtalkradio button to listen to this show!

It is this author's belief that in order to resolve behaviors, misbelieves, conflicts, and wars one must resolve the abandonment issues that are at the root of these actions. Listeners are asked to read the article published on July 4, 2008 titled Resolving Abandonment Experiences with the Election of Barack Obama. It will provide the framework for discussion on this show.

What I Must Give Myself...First (Vol. 1) by: J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

                                                     
                                                    Note: Price is discounted 20%

The first of two volumes of the personal growth journals (workbooks) to be used with Thank You for Loving Me! is released by CreateSpace Publishing! What I Must Give Myself...First provides the questions you need to answer in order to resolve your abandonment issues. Doing this will enhance your self-esteem and increase your ability to have healthier relationships.

To order your copy of this groundbreaking book click...
  • What I Must Give Myself...First!
    It is perfect for anyone that wants to heal their hurt feelings.
  • It is perfect for anyone that wants to develop their interpersonal skills.
  • It is perfect for anyone that wants to develop their personal attributes as a teacher, parent, student, therapist, leader, trainer, or partner in a relationship.
  • It is the perfect tool for parents to use to develop their youth's abilities in choosing an appropriate boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • It is the perfect tool for adults to use to develop their abilities in choosing an appropriate partner!
  • The questions are from Thank You for Loving Me, so you will need to read it also!
  • The questions are very personal.
  • The answers are hard, because you have to supply them.
  • The experience is soul searching.
  • The results are life-changing.

                   This book will change the way you feel about yourself.
             This book will assist you in changing the way you interact with others!
                                            Order yours now!

Should We Talk with Our Enemies?

Should we be talking with our enemies? Do we need to abandon the mindset of not talking with our enemies so we can resolve conflicts and behaviors that are resulting in us killing each other? J. Ray Rice, A.C.S.W.

Vote on this question and others. Please add your comments as well.

 

Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving By: J. Ray Rice is Released on Amazon.com

The wait is over! Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving has been released for immediate sale on Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com!
                                                       
                                                     Price has been discounted 20%!
                                                         

                                                          Thank You for Loving Me! 
                                                                         John

Nebraska Allows Parents to Abandon Children Up To 19 Years Old

 A new "safe-haven" law in Nebraska permits parents to abandon their children and teens at a hospital. No questions asked! Click here to read this news article. After you have had a chance to read it, please vote and comment about this law and how you feel it will affect the child, the family, the courts, and the social service network that provides for these individuals.

To read the latest update on the changes that are being made to this law because of its outcome please read...Nebraska fears rush to drop off kids before haven law changes on CNN.

 

If you have not had a chance to read another article I wrote about a Nebraska youth, please read...How Unresolved Abandonment Issues Affected Robert Hawkins!

Resolving Abandonment Experiences with Barack Obama

Congratulations President Obama on Winning the Nobel Peace Prize!

"Take the first step in faith. You do not
have to see the whole staircase.
Just take the first step."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

A “corrective learning experience,” has been described in others writings by this author as events, experiences, or acts that allow us the opportunities and resources to correct or heal an abandonment experience. This includes our self-esteem, ability to bond, love, and trust; as well as our desires to destroy, harm, or kill others and ourselves.

To read how the election of Barack Obama would provide "corrective learning experiences" to individuals, groups and nations...click here!

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Thank You For Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing and Loving by: J. Ray Rice

                     
                                

Thank You for Loving Me!
 is dedicated: 
    
                        "To those who love, and to those who want to be loved!"

James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief of The Midwest Book Review wrote:

"Thank You for Loving Me! is about the practical psychology in a poetic format of loving and healing based on John Rice's self-help, self-improvement seminar. It is about the necessity of taking risk, pursuing dreams; the role of friendship and the nature of love in the human experience; the impediments we all heir to; the concepts, values, and standards we all held to (by ourselves as well as by others); and the critical role of gratitude in peace of mind and personal tranquility. The psychology is sound, the style simple, the message elegant, the book timely and timeless."

  • Chapter 1 -  I Just Discovered How Much I Love You
    • What are you risking?
    • I just want to be loved!
    • It all starts with our parents.
    • Time goes on, Life moves forward.
    • Mom!
    • Wherever I am.
  • Chapter 2 -  The Almighty Image
    • I need God in my life!
    • Lord, I haven't been hearing You!
    • Thank You for loving me, Lord!
    • Some people think?    

  • Chapter 3 -  In My Image
    • I had a dream!
    • The truth is...
    • And...
    • How easy it is to spend your life looking!
    • Being your friend first.
    • When I was younger...
    • Sex is an action...
    • And...
    • Friends are those who...
    • Love & friendship
    • Love, what is it?
    • There is no such thing...
    • You're involved with another...
    • Love is!
    • It is extremely difficult...
    • I'm sorry!
    • It has been said...
    • There is something...
    • Love! For the longest time...
    • I shared with a friend...
    • Do I prefer casual sex?
    • It is one of the greatest ironies of love...
    • I have learned...
    • Emotions and feelings...
    • Can you understand?
    • If you haven't experience!
    • And...
    • Where does love begin?
    • There are two stages...
  • Chapter 4 -  Do I Chase You Away?
    • What do you want?
    • Whenever I see someone...
    • I met someone!
    • If I were honest?
    • I wonder?
    • Would I chase you away?
    • What should I do?
    • Before we can talk!
    • You say you've said that...
    • And...
    • I finally fell...
    • I'm sorry!
    • I'm sorry that I...
    • There are times when...
    • When I am silent...
    • Wow!
    • You know!
    • At times I feel...
    • If we would only be...
    • I don't want to...
  • Chapter 5 -  Can I Be Held?
    • It was a moment...
    • When I say no.
    • Have you noticed?
    • If we discover...
    • I'm loved by...
    • I'm sorry I'm not capable...
  • Chapter 6 -  Thank You For Loving Me!
    • Thank you for...
    • I love you!
    • Thank you!
    • The key to peace is...
    • Thank you..It hasn't been easy!
    • Thank you...for teaching...
    • Thank you...Because.
    • Thank you...I have experienced.
    • Thank you...You know.
    • Thank you for loving...
  • Epilogue 

Abandonment Issues...The Answers To Human Behaviors

                                                         
                                                                            Pdphoto.org

As I prepared to presenter my seminar...It's All About Abandonment, June 7th at the 2008 Conference of the National Association of Social Worker - Florida Chapter, I decided to share it with the world. It is that important to me! You will need Adobe to view this file. If you do not have Adobe Reader you can download it free by clicking on this link!

I ask that you respect my copyright to this presentation, as well as all of the articles I have posted. Please give me credit for the material and provide a link-back to this site so others can join our learning community.

My short and long-rang goals are to provide:

  1. Train-the-Trainer programs for all occupations that work, service, and care for people;
  2. Seminars for individuals and professionals that want to increase their interpersonal communication skills and attributes;
  3. Develop an International Think-Tank to exchange ideas on possible solutions that may assist in the treatment and healing of abandonment issues, experiences, and events;
  4. Continue to write reading and training materials on the many different subjects of abandonment.  

Please feel free to email me your interest in any of these goals to: jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com


Click here to read...The Answers to Human Behaviors! Please add your comments to the discussion.

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Bloggers Unite for Human Rights - HIV/AIDS and Human Rights

May 15th is Bloggers Unite for Human Right! I have chosen HIV/AIDS. They both cause people to feel and experience abandonment. In fact it is causing children worldwide to be orphans. For information on human rights of people with HIV/AIDS worldwide, please click here.

1,000,000 Africans were used to test the oral vaccine for polio. Do not think you know the truth! 
Click to watch...AidsOrigins! (This Blogger, by providing a link on the worldwide web, is not claiming that any individual, company, or nation in this film are responsible for anything!)

Underlining Abandonment Issues in the Lack of Ethics

What are the ethical reasons to the following questions and behaviors?

  • Why do we kill?
  • Why do we produce guns of all types with new technology to kill people faster?
  • Why do we continue to produce nuclear weapons?
  • Why do we continue to produce chemical weapons?
  • Why do we continue to produce biological weapons?
  • Why do we lie?
  • Why do we cheat on our partner?
  • Why do we continue to have unprotected sex?
  • Why do we have sex with people and know nothing about them?
  • Why do we move-in with a person we are thinking about marrying and produce children with them without the protection of marriage?
  • Why do you set yourself up to fail in relationships?
  • Why do we steal?
  • Why do we use the name of God to hate, kill others, or win a game?
  • Why did we possibly risk 1 Million Africans in the development of the oral polio vaccine in the Congo? (Click underline text to view video)
  • Why does a leader of a nation lies about the true reason he and his administration sent men and women, sons and daughters, mothers and fathers to war and then cut their benefits and not providing them the aftercare and treatment for their physical and emotional wounds?
  • Why do we think it is Un-American to look at the cause and affects of our policies and actions?
  • Why do we fear our own children?
  • Why do we fear others?

Listen to the Underlining Abandonment Issues in the Lack of Ethics on Buzzing with John and read a new article on the same.

Also take 12-minutes to listen to Olberman: Bush Interview Unforgivable

 

How the Media Abandoning the Truth is Affecting Us

                                                            
                                                                            pdphoto.org

As a prelude to my next article and radio show...Underlining Abandonment Issues in the Lack of Ethics, I ask that you watch this video. It was aired on PBS last night, April 25th on the Bill Moyers Journal. The Reverend Jeramich Wright, Pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, Illinois was the guest. He was the pastor of Presidential Candidate Senator Obama.

Please view the whole video and give your comments on how the media abandoning the truth is affecting us!

Click to see the Bill Moyers Journal on the Reverend Jeramich Wright.

Let The Conflicts Die!

              
                                                  pdphoto.org

Man only kills others and himself in wars. The conflicts live on to be fought another day and another. So why are we in such a rush to die? Unresolved abandonment issues? Are we learning something in this process? Killing each other and producing more guns and others weapons of mass destruction with laws allowing us to kill more is the problem. This is not the solution!

Remember these words and ask yourself if we have learned our lesson? History said, no!
Right now visitors to this blog are from over 185 countries and I know we all do not share the same belief systems, but everyone can relate to this point:

Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." 
                                                            (Luke 23:34)

Over two-thousand years later and we still do not know what we are doing...Jesus did not die, he was murdered! To read...Let The Conflicts Die! 

Do not forget to listen to the April 14th airing of Let The Conflicts Die on BlogTalkRadio!    

Why Some Black Males Have Abandoned Society for Prison


pdphoto.org

“A society abandons its citizens,

And
Its’ citizens abandon its’ society.

What do you have?

A highly dangerous and dysfunctional society!”


7.3 Million Chidren Has A Parent in Prison in the U.S.


I hope that you have already read the article…Social Policies and Laws Cause Abandonment
That writing and video outlines the concept that social polices and laws cause abandonment issues
and experiences to its citizens. The mental health of a nation is directly affected by that governments’ polices and procedures. The effects on the
war on drug and the war on crime are the same.

1.  You begin by increasing the world’s ability to kill every man, women, and child in  
     the production of weapons and their worldwide distribution

2.  You then reduce the cost of government by cutting services to the population of
     your society that does not vote or have poor representation in government.

3.  You then reduce or close your inpatient psychiatric hospitals and discharge these
     residents into the community and streets without the means to support
     or maintain themselves.

4.  At the same time you cut the budgets to community programs that service your 
    citizens needing:

        a. drug treatment

        b. alcohol treatment

        c. mental health treatment

        d. poverty assistance

        e. child and youth services

        f. job training

5.  Now introduce a cheap drug into minority communities and give it prime time
     coverage by every television station, at the same time.

6.  Help things alone by exposing every child to drugs in school by showing them all of the
     different kinds of drugs and there effects.

7.  Limit or not provide treatment or rehabilitation in your prison system along with no
     treatment for its prisoners’ drug, alcohol, or mental health issues during their
     prison stay or after their release.

8.  Develop laws that directly affect the 51.8% recidivism rate of your treatment
     population by increasing their prison sentencing after three arrests and convictions
     to life in prison.

9.  Pass federal sentencing laws that provide for a longer prison sentencing for your 
     poorest and minority citizens that use the cheaper form of a same drug that your
     upper-middle class and rich citizens use. Click here to help to change that!

10. Now build those much needed prison beds in white rural areas of the country that 
     provide them jobs, support industries, increase their tax base, increase their representatives in
     government, with a population that cannot vote or be represented by a
     government that sentences and maintains them.

11. Now privatize your prison system so it provides endless income to corporations
     and its shareholders.

12. Now allow the private corporations to put to work their personal property
     (prisoners) to earn more money for the corporations and its shareholders.

13. Do not place requirements on these private corporations’ recidivism rate to decrease
     in order for them to be able to receive more personal property so that they can
     earn money off the prisoners and pay them pennies on the dollars for their labor
     in order to produce more revenue for the corporations and its shareholders.

The U.S. has more people in prison than any other nation in the world, including Communist China with a larger population (current) of 1,321,851,888 compared to U. S. population of 303,675,508! In 2005, it cost federal, state, and local government in the U.S., $62,000,000,000. In a report just issued by the Pew Center on the States, it states that these facts have not reduced the recidivism rate in our prison system, nor reduced overall crime.

  • White males 18 and older - 1 in 106 are in jail or prison
  • All men 20 to 34 – 1 in 54 are in jail or prison
  • Hispanic males 18 and older 1 in 36 are in jail or prison
  • Black males 18 and older – 1 in 15 are in jail or prison
  • Black males 20 to 34 year old – 1 in 9 are in jail or prison

To read Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison…click here

Eric C. Hanson Treatment Issues

When a person murders another person, they are reacting to unresolved abandonment issues, from either that person or someone else in their life. This act of taking another person's life produces unresolved abandonment issues for the people that loved and knew them. Their loves ones are left with a sense of profound loss from their sudden and needless separation from the person they love. Their love ones are left with questions like, why has this happened and how could anyone commit such a crime or action. They may ask why would God allow this to happen to their loved ones. Each of these questions produces feelings of abandonment.

Eric C. Hanson in DuPage County, Illinois has been convicted of beating to death his sister and brother-in-law in Aurora, IL, and then shooting to death his parents in Naperville, IL. This article is about the psychology and the development of the pathology to carryout these acts. We will examine his behaviors and actions from a different point of view, abandonment. The abandonment issues of Eric Hanson's mental illness and actions will be examined in the hope that others will have a better understanding of his thought process and actions. This examination is not done to excuse his behaviors and actions or lessen the seriousness of his acts. This is written in the hope of providing a new awareness and understanding to how his mental illness and behaviors are…all about abandonment.

To read more click here...

Buzzing with John...on BlogTalkRadio



                                                   J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W., has a radio show!

 
                                                    
                                                                On BlogTalkRadio:  
   
         
                         March 05, 2008 - Abandonment Hurts(Click on Title for Recording)
                         March 15, 2008 - Coping with Abandonment(Click on Title for Recording) 
                         March 24, 2008 - Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison(Click Title)
                         
March 31, 2008 - Why Some Black Males Are Abandoning Society for Prison - Part 2 
                         
April 14, 2008 -   Let The Conflicts Die! In wars only people die, not the conflicts they are killing each other over! Join us in a lively discussion of how we continue wars by not resolving the abandonment issues that are behind the conflicts.
                         May 12, 2008 - Underlining Abandonment Issues in the Lack of Ethics In this sequence of Buzzing with John...we will be discussing the underlining abandonment issues in the lack of ethics worldwide. Join us! This is one show you do not want to miss.

Next Live Show Time:                        07:30 P.M. - Eastern - To Be Schedule
                                                            06:30 P.M. - Central
                                                            05:30 P.M. - Mountain
                                                            04:30 P.M. - Pacific

To listen:          Talk Live - U.S., click on the show during its broadcast time and call in @ 347-945-5933 
                         Chat - Live once the show has started by clicking on show
                         Live - Worldwide use your computer/microphone and "Click to Talk" on that show player 
                         Download - Listen to shows you missed by down loading the file to your audio player 
                         or computer

Please register at BlogTalkRadio  and vote for each show so we can continue on the air.

Why Parents Kill

                                                     
                                                             pdphoto.org

How many children need to die before the courts and lawmakers understand that a child's rights to life overrides a parent's right to guardianship when that parent has threatened to harm or kill that child or their parent? 


Families in America are divorcing and not marrying at a record rate due to failed relationships. These failed relationships produce unresolved abandonment issues in the people who experienced them, and they in turn have the ability to produce the same if they did not have a correct learning experience. 

These unresolved abandonment issues produce such intense feelings of loss and separation that some parents cannot tolerate the idea of living without their families. These intense feelings of abandonment of everything that they loved, worked for, sacrificed for, and in the case of military and law enforcement killed for, bring some parents to the point of killing their children and themselves!

Tech. Sgt. Dustin Thorson, a decorated airman, who served in Iraq, is the latest to threat to kill his children if his wife divorced him, shot too death his two sons and then himself!

To read more click here...

Steven Kazmierczak - The Hidden Abandonment Issues of A Mass Murder

                                    
                                                                         pdphoto.org

No one questioned me in my other articles I stated that, "we need to have a Social Worker for every 40 students in our schools from Pre-School or Kindergarten though College to provide individual, group, family and multi-family therapy. We do not want to acknowledge the level of pathology that existence within people but all you need to do is to turn on your TV or read a newspaper and you can see it. It is my professional opinion that all schools from Pre-School or Kindergarten though College need to be therapeutic schools! This means that they provide therapy for all of their students and all of their families.

One cannot go swimming without getting wet. One cannot grow up with major unresolved abandonment issues, events, and actions in their lives and not be affected. Some of us can handle these experiences and use them to become a better person. Some of us cannot handle these experiences and they cause us not to feel good about society and ourselves. Support is needed for both situations.

Some of us are acknowledging that our planet is sick and it is in the process of killing life because our actions are killing it. We also need to acknowledge that people are sick and that is why they are killing each other and themselves. Sticking our heads in the sand does not work with the environment, nor does it work in society. Our goose is cooked in both examples.

My mentor H.C. Smith, Ph.D., wrote to others and me today (02/15/08): "John you are at the leading edge as a thought leader on the subject of "Abandonment" and the examples continue to be demonstrated. The NIU event is just another of many you have predicted and projected. Stay the course my friend." Your message is very timely. Many are called. Few are chosen."

As a society we are paying for the human conditions people are living in, fighting in, and dying in. The call to allow students to carry a gun to school so they can protect themselves should show us how sick our society has become.

All behaviors have meaning! To read the article on Steven Kazmierczak click here.

Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving by: J. Ray Rice

The third edition of Thank You for Loving Me! The Psychology of Abandonment, Healing, and Loving has been released for purchase online at CreateSpace and Amazon.com. This is one of three books by J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W., that will be released in 2008.

                 

Thank You for Loving Me! has been rewritten over 200 times since its first copyright in 1977. It started out as a personal growth journal the author kept during therapy. When he was a graduate student in training to become a therapist he realized that he could not take someone else to a point or level he had not reached himself. To achieve this end he began his personal growth journal that grew into a book that he has been written over 36 years.

Lessons in life have to be experienced and learned. You just cannot tell people what to do and how to do it. They have to learn! Thank You for Loving Me is a book that you will read and reread to understand the life lessons in it. The author took 36 years to write this book and friends that have read and reread the book before are still learning and seeing new lessons in the book.

The format of the book is written in proses. Prose is not poetry; prose is a matter-of-fact form of writing.

Remember the Chinese proverb, “Give a person a fish and feed them for the day, teach them how to fish and feed them for a lifetime." Thank You for Loving Me teaches you how to love and heal so you can love and heal a lifetime!

Brief explanation of the book:

  • What is the manuscript about?
    • Thank You For Loving Me is about the human experience of loving and being loved. It assists the reader to understand how issues of abandonment have affected their self-esteem and the way they look at life events. It offers a tool on how to go about resolving ones' hurts and losses.
  • Who should read it?
    • Anyone who loves and want to be love should read Thank You For Loving Me! It is written to adolescences and adults; male and female; straight and gay.

  • What will the reader learn from it?
    • How to learn to love and be loved by others and ourselves.
    • How to resolve our abandonment issues so we can feel completely safe and secure in who we are as individuals.
    • How and why we should respect all the people of the world.
  • Why it is important?
    • To increase our ability to love others and ourselves.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues increases our ability to resolve conflicts.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues enhances our ability to succeed in living within the global community.
    • Resolving our abandonment issues reduces wars and violence toward each other.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to live together as a family.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to commit and rear our children.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to bond and succeed in long-term relationships.
    • Unresolved abandonment issues affect our ability to be tolerant of people, cultures, and norms that are different from ours.

Anticipated market for the book

  • Who is the book marketed to and who should read this book?
    • Adolescences (13 years old and up) and all adults, male and female.
  • How big is the audience?
    • Worldwide
  • How many copies will be printed?
    • Print-on-demand allows any book order of one or more copies to be printed and shipped worldwide within a week of ordering.

Will the book be illustrated?

  • Yes!
  • The book has 36 beautiful and feeling illustrations drawn by William ("Bill") Sawicki (03/19/1945 - 02/18/2001).


Author’s qualifications

  • What makes this author qualified to write this book?
    • The author is a trained social worker that has been treating abandonment issues all of his life.
    • He has traveled to 19-countries and examined these issues in their societies.
  • What are his credentials?
    • The author has a Master of Social Work degree.
    • He has treated thousands of teens, adults, and their families
  • How has he developed his experience in writing about this subject?
    • He has designed and administrated treatment programs with a specialty in resolving abandonment issues.
    • He developed the books during his own treatment experiences and enhanced it over the years in the treatment of others.
    • He has used his book in therapy with adolescences and adult for 30 years.
    • He has lectured and trained national and internationally on abandonment issues and the effects of unresolved abandonment issues on individuals, groups and societies.

Format of the manuscript

  • Thank You For Loving Me is written in proses.

Can I order a copy of the second edition, published in 1997 without the illustrations?

  • Yes, drop us an email.

Can I give a review on the 1st and 2nd editions of... Thank You For Loving Me?

  •  Yes! Just click on Add Comment.   

To read more click here...

Facilitating A Corrective Learning Experience

                               
                                                                       pdphoto.org

In this article the author defines the term, corrective learning experiences and explains how they can assist you in resolving abandonment issues and experiences. Examples are being added daily to build a data base like the one in What Is Abandonment. Readers are encouraged to assist the author by leaving examples of corrective learning experiences that have enhanced their health and emotional well-being. Just clicking the Add Comment link below to contribute. To read more click here...

J. Ray Rice, MSW, ACSW - Author, Speaker, Trainer, and Radio/TV Guest

                                                      

Interested in having J. Ray Rice as a speaker, trainer, consultant, radio, or TV guest? He writes and speaks about the need for love, the mental health of the individual, group and nation, and the child in all of us. Click here... or email him at jrayrice@itsallaboutabandonment.com

Abandoned Veterans

                                    
                                                                           pdphoto.org

Abandoned Veterans (est. 150,000 - 200,00 homeless) was inspired by the thoughts I experienced as I read an AP article by Erin McClan. He writes about a 28 year old, male Veteran who served two tours in Iraq that is now homeless and lives in a shelter in MA. He has been unable to work since returning from the war and has lost his wife, his love, his health, his home, and his friends. He would clean his gun and place it in his mouth and reportly rode his motorcycle at 100 miles per hour as he tried to stand on seat of his motorcycle. Before I started this article I identified 32 resources sites for Veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan Wars, Desert Storm, The Vietnam War, and the Korean Police Action (War). The health of a nation is shown by its love for the people that protect them. Please click here to read more...

What You Can Do!

                                                          
                                                          
Understand the causes and affects of unresolved abandonment issues are the first steps to resolving them and preventing them, whenever possible. It is important to understand that abandonment issues, events, and experiences can take place in all communications, interactions, and relationships...meaning that they are normal and sometimes not preventable.

In this article discussion is given to what you can do to reduce the effects of abandonment issues and events. This article like all of the others articles are working documents and readers should return regularly for updates. Please return to this section in the blog after you have read the full article and click on the ad comments button below and give your comments on this article. To read more please click here...and remember that all behaviors has meaning. When we take the time to understand the behavior it gives us the keys to resolving that behavior. Our ability to love, rear a child, and maintain our health are all connected. Also please subscribe to updates by email on the left.

Social Polices and Laws Cause Abandonment Issues

People are denied opportunities to fully participate in society and to use services or take advantage of opportunities that are available to the majority of society. This causes people to cope with life without the means of support and the benefit of public, social, and legal services. Policies and laws are passed to protect people. Sometimes they can handicaps individuals and their children, and deny them the opportunities to sustain themselves. Laws, social, and public policies can cause people to feel and experience abandonment. I am asking you to identify examples of this by adding your topics and examples to the comments section below. To read more click here...


To get you started on laws, social, and public polices that causes abandonment issues and experiences, please view the following video. This is the only program of its kind in womens' prisons in the U. S. It is a collection of writings (love, health, and emotional issues starting as a child) from women in prison called...Bridging The Gap. Be prepare to listen to their pain and hear their abandonment issues. Ask yourself if the policies and laws in place now in the U.S., aid these women before and after prison? It is the beliefs of many, and I am one of them, that feel that they contribute to these women being abused and homeless after prison? Let the learning begin!
    
                                            
    
                                      

What is Abandonment?

                                                       

Abandonment has many meaning:

1) A feeling from an act one may have about being given-up by their parents.
2) A feeling of rejection because we were hurt by an action toward us.
3) A feeling of not being loved.
4) A feeling one has when someone does not accept their belief system.
5) A feeling or act of betrayal by another person or group.
6) A feeling a child has when their parents leave them.
7) A feeling when your parents do not pay child support.
8) A feeling when someone is emotional not available to you.
9) A feeling of loss or separation from someone you love.
10) A feeling one has when a love one dies, including a pet.

What is abandonment? Read this!

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